DIVORCE LESSONS. Here’s Six Things That Kenyan Women MUST Learn From The Betty Kyalo Okari Wedding Compared To The Bob Collymore/Daddy Owen Weddings.
Divorce rumors surrounding one of TV’s most bankable couples keep swirling. It started a couple weeks ago. Like a joke. And then it gradually gained heat and before we knew it,Betty Kyalo was publicly dumping her Okari name and reverting to her good old Kyalo surname in both her Twitter and her news bulletins.
The two Television lovers have since stopped inundating each other’s timeliness with mushy tweets and calling each other schmaltzy names across Social Media.
Prior to and after the wedding,Betty Kyalo and Dennis Okari were allover each other. Betty even swiftly aligned her Twitter name to ‘Okari’ to reflect her recent marriage to the NTV sleuth. And then all hell broke loose.
What was largely seen as one of Television’s most enduring – and envy-inducing – couples was fast coming to an end. In less than an year,the marriage was gone. The romance was gone. And the names had been updated.
Nothing has ever shocked me that much. I,and many other Kenyans,are still in disbelief.
But did you see Kyalo and Okari’s wedding? Did you see the cars? Classy customized Jaguars and shit? Did you see the opulence and the excessiveness?
Their wedding was like a Spanish Quinceañera ; over the top,grand,ostentatious,very expensive,lavish,extravagant,massively extreme.
The guest list read like an invitation to a Beyond Zero dinner with the President. They even printed out special cards announcing the wedding,with their glossy photos and names emblazoned in beautiful calligraphy across the poster.
The wedding poster even mirrored a Hollywood movie poster,complete with Film-esque wordings and quotes from several sources.
Ah! Man!
And for avoidance of doubt,the couple even gave a much-publicized interview with the True Love magazine. And everything came to a halt.
The grand wedding poster.
It was the most publicized and heavily-blogged about wedding in recent Kenyan history. And it cost millions upon millions to execute.
But less than 6 months later,it was all gone. Like a flicker of weak flames in a cold,Moscow forest.
But in the case of Bob Collymore or Daddy Owen,things were absolutely different. No one even knew these guys were in love. They just fell in love,didn’t bother anyone with the news,did a simple wedding and retreated back to their privacy.
No movie posters. No large interviews. No ostentatiousness. No grand arrivals. No posturing. No massive expenditure. No grand cakes. No million-shilling wedding gowns. No classy hired limos.
Just a simple hush-hush wedding. Halafu iyo mambo tunamaliza.
Bob’s wedding to Wambui was a simple affair held at some private gardens and with a very simplistic cake. Wambui didn’t even have a gown in the first place. And Bob looked like he’d have showed up in a pair of sandals.
Daddy Owen,with all his endorsement millions could have opted for a lavish,garden spectacle. But he went for a little Church wedding. In a little old church. End of story.
DIVORCE LESSONS FROM Betty And Okari’s wedding versus the other weddings to akina Wambui.
1. Not All That Glitters Is Gold
Don’t be blinded by the lights,by the glitz and by the glamor. Don’t be fooled by the spectacular colors and grand displays. Don’t be swayed by the showiness and the over-the-top displays. Don’t be blinded by what appears grand and royal. For beneath it,lies alot of rot and discord. Don’t be fooled by the amazing wedding invites and by the cars and by the 10-tier designer cake. Don’t be moved by the glitters and the flowing wedding gowns. Don’t be captured by the millions. It could all be a show. For all we know. Stay woke.
2. Empty Debes Make The Most Noise
Sure, they do. The emptier the Jerry can,the louder it will be. Empty pockets make the most noise too. The fuller the wallet,the less noisy it will be. Coins make alot of noise. Notes don’t make no noise. Couples who make the most noise could be a sham. And an empty display of empty love. The annoying Instagram couples you see daily could be going through more relationship wrangles than the silent,non-Instagram couples in your estate. Don’t be fooled by the noise and the excessive display of love in public. It could be an empty debe. And you could be in for a rough,noisy ride.
3. Love Is A Private Affair
Love between two people should remain between the two people. Love is not some bag of colored candy that everyone must get a bite of. Not everyone should be privy to what the two of you are up to. Infact,not everyone should even know that the two of you are dating in the first place. Love isn’t something to be ceaselessly advertised and promoted across the media. Wanna be happy? Meet someone you like,tell them you like them, fall in love with them,don’t tell nobody,enjoy your goddam relationship in peace. The more they know about the two of you,the more they plan to break up the two of you. Ask Auntie Maggie. She’ll agree with me.
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4. The Bigger The Wedding, The Smaller The Love
Most Hollywood weddings are big. Like,BIG. Yatchs,millions of dollars,Cadillac limousines,Jimmy Choo shoes,Donatella Versace gowns,Alexander McQueen dresses,walls of flowers,honeymoons aboard a hired yatch,Swarovski jewelry,imported foods,Quinta da Giesta wines,fleets of cars. It all starts like that. And then the marriage is over. In less than sixteen minutes. The bigger the wedding, the smaller the love. The rich have a way of putting up a spectacle,and not a way of putting up with each other. Forget the massive displays of financial might and envy-inducing nuptials. It could all be some empty,cold Hollywood sham.
5. Don’t Believe The Hype
I didn’t coin that gem. It has been there for the longest time. There’s a little saying that goes, ‘Don’t believe the hype’. Believe me, you should never believe the hype. Don’t believe the Twitter displays of love. Don’t believe them when they spend all day calling each other Bae and exchanging endless social media poems. Don’t believe the selfies. Don’t believe the interviews. Don’t believe the showoffs and the publicity. It could all be one sick prank. Or one lame stunt. The ‘Hype’ isn’t all it’s made out to be. Don’t believe it.
6. Extravagance Does Not Equal Love
The fact that you and her decided to spend millions to throw the wedding of the century does NOT mean that your financial might matches their romantic might. People have been socialized to believe that the bigger the wedding,the better the love. Bull crap. You couldn’t be further from the truth. Little girls grow up wanting to be married and wedded in Grand,Royale weddings. Complete with horses on carriages and maids and butlers frantically running around at their service. Nairobi girls either want a big wedding. Or nothing at all. It’s all a sick,sorry race to outdo the last wedding. Every couple wants to be the talk of town. Even when they are not talking to each other. Weddings are no longer the righteous occasions where a woman is bequeathed to the man of her love by her family. Weddings have now become some sort of communal popularity contests,where the more the cars,the more the millions and the grander the reception,the better the feeling in the hearts of the organizers. And the people wedding. What a waste of love. And of time.
And just like Nana Gecaga,I should be awarded with a State Job now. Abeg,This article is too hot to go unrewarded. Haha.
