I wasn’t ready for all the things that came with being a celebrity – Nazizi regrets

Kenyan ´first lady´ of hip-hop, Nazizi has her fare share of regrets especially after gracing the world of fame.

First, no one had schooled her about what being a ´celebrity´ is all about and she was just not ready for what she had to go through back then.

Now I don’t consider them lost. Instead, I focus on everything I gained. I wasn’t ready for all the things that came with being a celebrity. At the same time, I love my journey as an artiste and I have learnt so much.

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Flashback

Just as the limelight shone on her, barely in her 20´s, she felt like she had lost the sense of privacy and freedom because she was ever guarded.

She would be the talk of town for just anything small she did or was involved in.

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However, despite the loses, with age comes pride and the understanding that it was worth it all.

In my 20s, I thought I had lost a lot – my privacy, my independence and my freedom because everywhere I went, I had escort. There was a time I would be in the papers every Friday whether I had done anything or not. I had to put on a straight or happy face even when I was going through hard times. But now as I am older, my outlook has changed. I look back and see the awards I have won and the impact I have had on people and realize those were not wasted years. I instead focus on everything I have gained.

Given a chance to go back to her childhood days, what would she have done different?

If I would tell young Nazizi one thing, it would be to stop being so serious, stop being so hard on yourself and enjoy life. Do the things you love and stop focusing too much on pleasing other people. Back then it wasn’t about me – it was about the next song and the next show and how to maintain being the number one group in the country. It was never about what does Nazizi want, where does she want to go, what does she want to do.

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Regrets

This resulted into her greatest regret – not discovering who she really is and appreciating those dear to her.

I wish I would have spent more time with myself. The most important thing in my life are people, and yet those days I rarely made time for the people in my life. I was always on a busy schedule. I wish I had done that earlier on in my career because it would have grounded me more. At the time I moved to Lamu I was so tired of being Nazizi, being that person who is photographed everywhere, including in hospital queues.

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Well, the situation was so bad, she just did not want to be ´Nazizi´ anymore. So it was the high time she grounded herself and stayed off the light for a while.

After years of doing the same thing, I hit a point when I didn’t want to be Nazizi anymore. I was tired of being photographed and signing autographs. It got to a point when I would get angry if a fan approached me for a photo. I felt like nobody cared about me, they just wanted pictures to post on social media. I felt like I was being attacked when asked to pose for a photograph. I had to reflect on why I was suddenly feeling that way and yet it had been my entire life. I realised it was because I wasn’t taking any time for me. I had also just become a mother and realised I needed to be grounded.

Courtesy: Sunday Magazine