On the rare occasions that I am in my parent’s car early in the morning, my mother opts to listen to Maina and King’ang’i In The Morning much to my chagrin. And today I got to listen to the topic of discussion:
— Classic 105 Kenya (@Classic105Kenya) February 26, 2021
And this was an interesting topic of conversation because it shows a schism between generations in Kenya. My mother was adamant that this is a none issue for any woman who is focused on being a wife and mother. According to her, it is a no brainer. You will invest in your husband because you know that first, life is made up of ups and downs and second that this is the only way for a family to remain strong and intact.
I informed her that this is not the case for my generation nor the generations immediately ahead of mine. By that, I mean people who are 25-34 and the generation of people immediately ahead of that.
Maina Kageni seemed shocked by the responses he got that indicate I am telling the truth. Women seem to have been raised with the idea that what is theirs is theirs but what is their husbands is also theirs. In essence, men have been reduced to the primal understanding of providence.
As a result of this thought process, you have some rather unstable marriages in which the wives and husbands view each other as enemies. And when people begun defending their stance, alot of blame was thrown around with very little responsibility for the situation being assumed by anyone. This only further grounded my belief that men and women are indeed marrying their enemies or perhaps they eventually shift from being lovers to being enemies.
But the thing Maina Kageni’s topic doesn’t really elucidate on is the fact that families are like teams. If one player is playing against the interests of the greater team, then that will ruin them.
Men are indeed meant to be providers and protectors. But women have appended their side of the traditional social contract. They want not to be held to their end of being nurturers. I will accede that times have changed so we too need to evolve the marital contract but it cannot be to the benefit of only one party.
I remember telling Sanaipei I don’t want to commit, but please have a baby for me – Maina Kageni confesses
That is actually why the world over, marital rates are plummeting with this especially being of concern in America.
And with the advent of and en mass embracing of online dating and hookup culture, the numbers will only continue to drop as more and more men begin to view marriage not just pessimistically but nihilistically. Why bother yoke yourself to a partner who refuses to build wealth with you but prefers to remain a burden even when it is unnecessary? Why not just build on your own slowly and enjoy the bachelor lifestyle?