Maureen Waititu and Shakilla have dominated my thoughts these past few days. I was having a rather riveting conversation with some friends of mine and they had to agree with my argument that the two ladies -well, one and a half ladies anyway- have some serious daddy issues. perhaps they only agreed because they feared I wouldn’t share any of the dinner on the menu with them but hey, I like to think I am a great orator.
You see, Maureen Waititu and Shakilla have both admitted to not having the best relationship -if we can call it that- with their fathers. Maureen Waititu once narrated how her father abandoned his family, leaving her devastated especially since she had to walk all the way to town just to see him. Sad.
Shakilla on the other hand told the world that she was a prostitute whose father had disowned her and even threatened her with bodily harm. So as you can see, the two of them have a lot in common. But at the end of the day dating lasses who have daddy issues makes life hell pon earth for the guys who date them.
You see, a father is how a girl learns to relate with the world and especially members of the opposite gender. And it often gives young girls a grounding. Foundation and a compass of how to relate in a healthy manner with their partners. Ofcourse, I am not talking to women who have fathers who are useless because that too causes similar daddy issues to what Shakilla and Maureen Waititu have put their partners (or in Shakilla’s case, will put her partners) through.
Women with daddy issues usually have a certain set of symptoms that let you know they are toxic to the touch but men often ignore these much to their future chagrin and torture. They often have a longing for men either as damaged as their own fathers or men who are available to fill in the void left behind by an absent father. Often these men mirror the lack of impulse control and emotional maturity. Often these women feel inadequate and deep down, feel they are unworthy of love. So with all this I am sure you can already see what I am already getting at with Shakilla. But what off Maureen Waititu?
Maureen Waititu’s case is slightly different only in her way of actualizing her daddy issues. She has abandonment issues. And they manifest in her seemingly becoming overbearing and controlling over her former hubby, Frankie Just Gym It and also ultimately becoming emotionally manipulative like the best puppeteer. That explains why she has been doing everything she has and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she is entirely unaware of her flaws given how few Kenyans are actually introspective enough to understand themselves.
And with Ms Waititu, as I said above, she has a deep fear of abandonment but she pushes away the men in her life to “test” them. She wants to ensure (at least on some level) that they are choosing to stay with her and will do so every time she tests them. I am sure if Frankie Just Gym It could talk about his experiences intelligently, he would express having experienced what I just described to varying levels. And as a result, she also chases validation from the men she is around or with. So when it came to Frankie, her first real complaints were the fact that he was always getting attention from random thirsty women and it made her feel insecure because he wouldn’t shut them down outright. Let that sink in or you could always click on this link to read her words.
Also, because she is young, Shakilla’s issues are more transparent. She hasn’t had a lot of experience hiding them but she does seem to have a penchant for crying out for attention. She claims to be a prostitute for heaven’s sake! So I do not really need to state too much about her daddy issues. So let us move on. As a man, when it comes to understanding whether your partner is filled to the brim with daddy issues, take the time to interrogate whether or not she shows these type of attachment types:
- Anxious-preoccupied. People with this attachment type may be anxious, crave closeness, but feel insecure about their partner leaving them.
- Dismissive-avoidant. People with this type may have trouble trusting others for fear that they’ll be hurt.
- Fearful-avoidant. People with this type may feel unsure about intimacy and tend to run away from experiencing difficult feelings.
Now that you know better, do better.