Now That She Is Officially Single,Here Are 8 Famous Kenyan Men That Betty Kyalo Should Definitely Hook Up With….Or Smash…Or Date…Or Marry.

Everything that has a beginning must definitely have an end. And the end of the Okaris has come and gone. It’s time for the two to chart new paths,test the waters,go different ways,find love and happiness elsewhere and start life afresh without each other. No need holding on to what’s already dead and gone,I guess. Move on,move up, keep moving.

And as with many breakups,this may call for a rebound. This may call for a celebration,this may call for a time to reevaluate oneself and to keep striving to find ‘The One’. This also may be the perfect time to see new people,date the guy of your dreams,go out a little more,honor some of those coffee dates you’ve always been turning down and basically become an adventure junkie.

The chains are off! And Betty should be focusing on finding herself a new flame. And you know what? The sooner the better.

But the good lady may be too busy sorting out the broken pieces of what she had with Mr. Okari to sit down and find herself some nice gentleman. Or a not-so-nice one for that matter.

And because we are good people,who don’t believe in cockblocking, we’ve decided to help Miss Kyalo, the newly-single TV princess get herself a Prince.

There’s a lot of Princes to choose. Some good,some bad. Some wealthy,some barely-managing. Some chivalrous,some prudish. Some gentlemanly,some a**holes.

We shall tell you who they are,why they are the best fit for Betty and also the advantages and disadvantages (Pros and Cons) of dating them.

Come,let’s help Betty find a mate. Shall we?!

1. Prezzo 
Is there someone better to start with than this one? Of course NO. Prezzo has already publicized his admiration and unabashed attraction to Betty to the whole Country. On Live Television. Sure,he did catch some serious flak for the antics but you can’t put a good Prezzidente down. He passed his message. Whether we liked it or not. And on that note,we highly suggest that Betty should consider hooking up with Prezzo. He’s charming,he’s rich (we hope so), he’s famous,he’s popular with the ladies, he’s been married before,he’s a gentleman (he can be one), he’s age-appropriate and he’s also sorta sweet.

PROS: He’s been married before so he should be able to handle you quite well. He knows how to treat women like Queens. He can take you halfway around the World. And he knows his English. Plus hasn’t his mother called you already? In the past? To apologize for Prezzo’s behavior? Boom! You already have talked to your future Mother-In-law.

CONS : He’s still a douche at the end of the day. He may be going broke. He loves women way too much. He’s a sex freak. And he can’t rap no more.

2. Larry Madowo 
Who better to take Number Two? Than the man who hates to be Number Two? Larry would be a perfect match. I mean,he’s been single (we hope) for the longest time. Surely, the brother needs a sister in his life. He’s popular,charming,successful, intelligent,funny,smart and witty. He’d make a perfect boyfie. And hubby. I mean,cooking for him won’t be too much work. And who can’t wash colored socks?

PROS: He’s single. He’s obviously ready to mingle. He’s a media guy just like you. He can take you around the World-and take a million useless selfies with you.

CONS: He is Okari’s Bestie. Man! Plus he’s a little condescending,a little prudish, a little conceited,a little egotistical, a little annoying.

3. Jaguar 
This would be another wonderful pick. Why Jaguar!? Well,for the sole purpose of spiting Prezzo. And scoring a fast one over him and his childishness. Jaguar hasn’t made his relationship status public for years now. It’s assumed he’s single. And well,why not start a sweet romance with Miss Betty. He’s talented (LOL),super rich,popular,sits at the board of some committees,knows the President and can be kind and generous. He would obviously make a perfect boyfriend. Plus you don’t see his business on the Internet all day. He’s not some Kardashian-type and sure does know how to treat women… If some of his songs are anything to go by.

PROS: He’s wealthy… Like super wealthy. He’s pals with His Excellency. He can get you a job at State House. Access to all VIP dinners… He’s grounded

CONS: You would have to put up with his music all day. Everyday. Not the kind of horror you want to wake up to.

4. Shaffie Weru
He’s the de facto King of Team Mafisi. He’s been the thirstiest nigga on the block for years now. He’s a women magnet and makes a tidy sum. He’s been married before…actually he is still married and has the experience of dating some other popular female celebrity. And just like Betty,he’s a media guy too and knows a thing or two about the ropes of media. Some say he’s handsome (I didn’t say he is) and his party life is something to be very envious of. Shaffie would make a sweet boyfriend. Though not a very faithful one. Or one that would call you anytime you want to be called. Or text you back as regularly as a man should. Still,he wouldn’t be so bad. But he’s better than Okari anyway.

PROS: He’s Charming (We guess), fun to be around,also a media guy,drives very sleek cars,is definitely NOT struggling,has a Buzzin social life. Doesn’t look like he gives two fucks.

CONS: He’s a serial womanizer. Drinks alot. Is hangovered half of the time. Doesn’t shave that beard. Drinks alot. Goes out like a college boy. Is too loud. Looks like he loses his phone every weekend. And did I mention he drinks like a Swedish sailor?

5. Dennis Oliech 

TV girls love soccer stars. And sure,Betty and Dennis wouldn’t be so bad after all. Trouble is,just like Betty’s ex,even this one is called Dennis. In fact,Denis Oliech shares the same name abbreviation with Dennis Okari. But still,mapenzi sio majina. Football stars are said to be the hottest thing in the dating market. And Dennis squarely fits the bill. I mean, he’s been rumored to have dated Caroline Mutoko. Bro, if a nigga can date Caroline Mutoko,stubborn as she is,that nigga can date anyone. And Betty is not a very bad choice. Plus they’d probably fly off to France. And she’d forget the Okari troubles for a long long time. Don’t you know what they say? France is the Nation of Love. And Paris is the Capital of Romance. Betty and Oliech please.

PROS : A stay in the City of Love, Paris. A taste of the good D that only a professional footballer can give. An interesting life… Crazy nights out. Endless trips around the World. You get to still be Mrs. D. O.

CONS: Oliech is said to be super super broke. His club told him to go farm cabbages. He wears skirts. Smokes too much stuff. Doesn’t comb his hair. Is as proud as a 15 year old Spanish girl. Hangs out with idlers. Was dumped by Mutoko. Bure kabisa.

6. DNG 
Just like Betty’s, his colorful wedding crushed into a failed marriage just recently even after the crazy media hype surrounding the couple’s romance. DNG had bagged one of the most gorgeous girls and actually walked down the aisle with her but just a few months later,the marriage had hit the rocks. Much like Betty’s. Well,how’s that as a place to start from? For inspiration purposes? There two would make a wonderful couple since they both know a thing or two about short-lived marriages. Plus DNG doesn’t give a fuck as such. So he wouldn’t mind bagging Okari’s ex and acting like nothing happened. Plus isn’t he soooo freakishly handsome? Lawd knows the nigga can drive them ladies wild. And actually,he does. He’s also pretty endowed (Ok, financially I don’t know what’s between the legs) and the brother also has great fashion sense. Not a bad one for a rebound. His smile alone should just work the magic. And don’t they both have amazing smiles?

PROS : The biggest advantage of dating DNG is simply that he’s been through a quickie marriage too. And is also smarting from a recent separation after a massive massive weddo. But also,he’s sexy,smiles like the daughter of a rich man,is very well-groomed, has some really swanky sense of fashion,is f**kin rich. And drives some realllllyy cool cars.

CONS: He’s too loud. Too cocky. Too unpredictable. Too much of a womanizer. Too loud – again. Too undomesticated. Too jumpy. Too allover the place. Phew!

7. Mike Makori 
This is the reeeealllly handsome dude that hosts the E-Curve entertainment show on KTN alongside that other piece of ugly shit,Chero. But let’s go back to the man,Makori. This is a dude who had dreams of going into the aviation World. And then God told him, ‘Look here,I did not give you all those hot looks for you to end up at Wilson airport. Flying politicians to village harambees. Quickly,go into Television’ and it worked. Makori is not sooo big a name locally,and that’s even better for Betty. Better for Betty… Hehehe see what I did there? It’s called alliteration but let’s go back to the man,Makori. But wait… This dude is too distracting. But doesn’t Betty need someone to distract her from the recent separation? Oh yes! She does! Who better than Makori? Who?! It’s even better because they both work at KTN. And Makori, who obviously earns a significantly lesser salary than Betty, can also double up as her errands boy around KTN. Need a snack? Need to have something picked from your car? Need a soda? Who better to send around than little Makori boy.

PROS : He looks like heaven. Isn’t known to be a bad boy. Hasn’t gone to bed with half of Nyayo Estate. Works at the same company – KTN. Appears to be humble and polite. Woooiyeee.

CONS : He looks boring, sounds boring, smiles boring, appears boring probably is boring. Not worth it.

8. Muhoho Kenyatta 
Yes,even the sons of the rich and powerful love to be loved. Or at least to share their love. He’s the second son of Bwana Uhuru Kenyatta. And is also a designer. Yeeeaaay. Who doesn’t love a boy that can design stuff? He’s been linked to akina Moi’s granddaughters and stuff lakini hio yote ni porojo tu. It’s not clear who the brother dates. Oh well…. Why not hook up a recently single sister with a super hot dude from State House? Man! This would be epic. Plus it appears this Muhoho dude likes them lightskinned. Perfect pick for Betty. He may be younger than Betty, but don’t we all know Jennifer Lopez (yes,the Jennifer Lopez) is dating Casper Smart? A 19-year old jobless Mexican boy she met at the side of the road? Anything is possible with love. Ask Madonna.

PROS : He’s the son of the President! I repeat,he’s the son of the President!

CONS: No one wants special security service around them all the time. No one wants the Reece Squad around them 24/7. And still, no one wants to break the heart of the President’s son. Otherwise the Government will break into your home. And burn down your village. Hahaha.

Did we do a good job? No? Did we care? No! Good! Now get back to work,sleaze lovers.

NEXT UP: 8 Women Dennis Okari Should Definitely Hook Up With…Now That Betty Has 8 Of Her Own To Pick From.