We’ve Listened To Jaguar’s Collaboration With Mafikizolo,Going Nowhere. And Just Like The Title,This Song Is Really Going Nowhere.

No Jaguar song is ever anticipated. We don’t normally look forward to Jaguar’s next offering. We just sit and wait. Then he drops the jam. We listen,whine and forget. And the cycle goes on. And on and on.

Prior to the song’s release,a surprise collaboration with the legendary South African musical band Mafikizolo,Jaguar didn’t bother create hype around the upcoming single. He preferred to remain mum about the project and only talk about it a day or two to the official release.

And for someone with a very moribund social media army,the buzz didn’t even catch on. It never would have.

Still,the song came. Accompanied by a tasty video shot by one of South Africa’s most renowned video directors,Godfather. And the video,thank God,is actually something to write home about. The audio? Not really.

The song is titled Going Nowhere. A very flimsy title for a song with very high chances of actually going nowhere. And a perfect minefield for puns and memes and crude jokes.

Jaguar,thankfully,is not new to being berated and chided over his songs. He’s been consistently churning out the same monolithic material with sparse lyrics,annoying adlibs,careless themes and a total feeling of pointlessness in all of his songs.

None of anything he’s released post-Kigeugeu caught on. People quit feeling his vibe five years ago. And Jaguar himself definitely knows that. But he’s super rich. And filthily endowed. We just can’t write him off.

I mean,it’s Jaguar we are talking about here. A man who walks in and out of State House on a whim. Not a man you can easily write off… His music notwithstanding.

The song starts with the usual ” Eeh” refrain Jaguar has become notorious for. And then he jumps into his verse,with no tact or oopmh at all.

98% of Jaguar’s verse is,to be brutally honest,repetitive garbage. You don’t remember a thing he said once he’s done. Words like ” In my Rover ” and ” Kuja Tucheze ” are absolutely useless in such a cold,mean weather.

Don’t even get me started on Jaguar’s strenuous attempt to sing in English. As if he really could pull that off.

Nhlanhla Ncizaone half of the Mafikizolo duo is up next with a verse that sounds like it was written by her three-year old. It’s really just gibberish. And slot of repetitions. Theo Kgosinkwe,the remaining half of the duo,doesn’t save the day either. I doubted he would.

As if on cue,Theo comes in to further butcher something that has already nose-dived to unimaginable levels at only two minutes into the song. His uncreative references of dollars and money actually makes you feel impoverished.

Jaguar comes on again. As if the first attempt wasn’t traumatic enough. But really,he proves that there’s no limit to hitting rock bottom.

”Piga chobo ” is endlessly repeated by an elated Jaguar. And it makes no sense at all. Not unless it does to you.

The song implores us to ” Kuja Tucheze ” but man,that’s the last thing you want to do after listening to the song.

As as for Mainswitch Productions producing the song’s track,and repeatedly dropping their signature name allover the song,I can’t think of a worse moment for the song.

VIDEO :
On a scale of one to ten,the video easily scores some 9 points. And it’s all because God Father,the video directors,don’t play when it comes to work. However banal the audio is.

The shots are great,the editing is topnotch,the the color coordination is perfect and the transitions are awesome. Obviously,Jaguar must have spent a fortune to cobble that whole thing together.

COSTUME :
 Nhlanhla Ncizalooks great,although she could have looked better. The black dress accentuates her beauty in a way that nothing she’s worn recently could. The yellow dress too,with a huge pattern around the waist,adds much-needed flavor and color to her radiant style. Her hairstyle? Beautiful. Edgy. Chic.

Theo almost totally looks like a clown all through the video. At one point, he’s wearing a Yankee baseball cap,some huge hoodie and Ghetto t-shirt making him look like a pretentious teenager at a bad high school party. I mean,this man is 42. For the love of God. His black and white tuxedo at the beginning isn’t all that either. He wears it for all occasions anyway.

Jaguar’s black suit is a welocme distraction from the mess that is going on. However,whoever advised him to pair it with a stripped t-shirt should be fired by tomorrow morning. He then wears a god-papa at some point. And ends up looking like a any Kikuyu singer shooting a video at one of his beer and nyama choma resorts in Juja.

Not much can be said about the video. Exact the last part where they all dance that ” Piga Chobo ” thing. It’s a very confusing and uninspiring dance routine. And please,can you just stop doing the dab dance on a song that is NOT even rap?!! Man! You don’t just pull off the dab on anything . It goes with particular songs. From Southern America rappers.

Overall, it’s a good effort. Jaguar is actually not sitting on his laurels. Despite his busy schedules and many VIP meetings,it shows that the man is actually a hard worker and still remains relevant.

Nice attempt. But still,Going Nowhere seems to be the unavoidable fate the song has resigned to.

Incase you haven’t checked out the song,here it is. Knock yourself out. But make sure you go somewhere after watching.

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