Akothee Gets Dumped By Her Mzungu Fiancé For Kissing Another Man

Well, it seems that Akothee’s hunger for publicity has landed in trouble. You might remember how the singer who happens to be the living, breathing embodiment of Oscar Wilde’s maxim, “If there’s one thing worse than being talked about, it’s not being talked about”, posted photos of herself in a wedding dress kissing a mzungu guy. We all thought she had gotten married but she later came out to deny this claim saying that those were just video shoot photos. The guy she was kissing was not her real man. Apparently, all this has not gone down well with her real european fiancé who has more jealousy than the biblical Cain. As a result, he has severed ties with her and called off the engagement.

“I was convinced that I had found my soulmate, my kindred spirit, the woman I could grow old with and have more babies with,” Akothee’s fiance said. More babies? Doesn’t she have enough already? Anyway, he continued “Then, out of nowhere, I come across these photos of her kissing another man. When I saw her doing this yet she hadn’t asked for permission, I knew it was over. I can’t tolerate such kind of disrespect as a man”

Akothee’s devastated lover said he was repulsed by the sight of his lover locking lips with another fella. “It made me sick.”

“It struck me that this kind of reckless behavior could be a foreshadowing of things to come. There are things I can fathom and things I can’t” he fumed.

Despite these strong reservations, Akothee’s fiancé said he “remained in deep denial for several days.”

“I tried to make it work, I tried to tell myself that maybe the old Esther would give a solid explanation but she didn’t so I didn’t think I could wait it out.”

When I tried to contact Akothee, she simply said , “Pili pili yakwashia nini?”

The charismatic Luo songstress must have come back to my senses because she later called me back and said the sudden breakup had left her devastated, confused, and “so depressed I can’t eat.”. So sad for the woman who has become the poster girl for go-getting. Akothee’s parents who were hoping to receive lots of cars and money from the mzungu guy’s family as part of the dowry settlement are now distraught

Reached for comment on whether he could forgive her, Akothee’s fiancé said: “It’s too bad she didn’t display a little bit of that self-discipline earlier… We might still be together today”

All this is according to my dreams last night. Kenye nilivuta kabla nilale ndio sijui. Thanks for paying attention though. You’ve been pranked. If you are getting the craving to beat me up for wasting a few minutes of your life, tupatane hapo nje. 

 

Note: This is a satirical article, Etemesi shall not be held responsible for any feelings caught by the reader