CABU GAH DIARIES: Kenyan Athletes are BORING! My Answer to NTV Journalist. And My Celebrity Advice to them.
Yesterday,NTV aired a clip done by Reporter Ken Mijungu on the status of Kenyan Athletes among Kenyans. Ken wondered why Kenyans NEVER showed up in droves to welcome Record-Breaking star athlete Dennis Kimetto. I have the answers.
Dear NTV-KENYA,KENYAN ATHLETES ARE BORING!!! That’s why they don’t attract crowds of enthusiastic fans whenever they jet back to Kenya.
Yesterday, NTV-Kenya aired a piece done by Reporter Ken Mijungu focusing on the sad fact that Kenyan athletes are rarely celebrated and enthusiastically welcomed at home.
Ken’s piece was good. But lame. Actually, I have done such an article before (Read it HERE) wondering why Kenyans never accorded Bahati a Heroes’ Welcome after winning the AFRIMMA AWARDS unlike his counterpart Diamond Platnumz of Tanzania who,upon arrival to Tanzania,was met at the airport by massive crowds of frenzied fans…who tumultuously cheered him on, screaming his much-revered name,hoisting him up and almost prostrating before him.
But here,it was a different case. Bahati,a Kenyan Gospel sensation, won the AFRIMMA AWARD FOR Best Gospel Artiste in AFRICA. Yes,Africa! Ok…Let’s face it,I don’t even think Bahati can be the Best Gospel Artiste in Nairobi but hey,He won right?? Right. What didn’t match the Diamond fiesta was how Bahati was received back at home.
He won the Award and,almost inaudibly and incognito, crept back to Kenya…With No convoy,NO crowds to welcome him at the airport,No mentions on Social Media and Not even any yelling little teenagers around his car…
In my article,I raised the same issues that Ken raised; Why are Kenyan Artistes NOT celebrated at home?? As it happens elsewhere??
I restricted my rantings to Kenyan Artistes ,most of whom I think are sensational enough ,captivating enough and crowd-pulling enough to warrant throngs of feverish fans swarming around them at an Airport. I still stand by My article…Kenyan Artists DO NOT receive the kind of Love Artistes from our neighboring Countries or even other African Countries receive.
But My beefs with the Kenyan Fan ends when You introduce the Kenyan Athletes to the table.
I have absolutely NO connection or feeling of allegiance or fan patronage to ANY of Kenya’s Athletes.
Its so damn hard to connect with these people. Granted,they are doing a great job at running themselves lame and scooping Medals Left,Right and Center. I appreciate that they are doing a marvelous job by sweeping all the Medals on offer from Berlin to Chicago to Paris to London.
What I DO NOT like about them,though,is the fact that they are so wholesomely BORING. And lethargic. And,I dare say,Unpresentable at times!
I cringe every time a Kenyan Athlete wins any race and has to give a brief interview to the throngs of International Media swarming at the Finish Line.
God,Have You ever heard them talk?? Have You ever heard them describe the race??
There are soooo many things they do WRONG. Its Not just what they say…But how they say it…And how they piece up what to say.
And their general look,For instance. Who even feeds these people?? Like,seriously,WHO??? Who said that You have to be so irredeemably emaciated to run a race?? Don’t we have physically fit athletes?? Like Serena Williams?? Or Marion Jone?? Or Griffith Joyner?? Or Usain Bolt??
Its a very rugged and skinny image of Kenya that some of these Athletes present.
For Me to be able to be lured to the Airport to welcome You and cheer You down Mombasa Road,I MUST first feel a connection to You. I MUST feel You. You MUST give me a reason to leave my house at the crack of dawn,camp at an airport and still have enough energy to scream myself hoarse when You finally touch down.
But who knows some of these Athletes?? Take Kimetto,for instance. What do we know about him?? Could You pick him from a crowd?? What is captivating about him?? Besides a broken World Record??
Our Athletes seriously need an expert PR team pronto! They urgently need to be coached on how to speak fluently and attractively in International events. They MUST Not only be coached on winning a race,But also be coached on HOW to dress,WHAT to dress and WHEN to dress Up.
They MUST urgently be coached on charisma…How to capture crowds and how to build a Celebrity status. They NEED urgent Image Lessons..On how to look like a Star.Walk like One and Act like One.
Unfortunately,MOST of these Star Athletes win Medals and then retire to their Cow Farms in Eldoret and continue farming Maize and Wheat and Cassavas waiting for the next race…Completely forgetting that they are NOW World Celebrities with an image they have to maintain and a status they have to live up to.
Ken Mijungu even went ahead to compare the reception that The German Football Team received after the World Cup and the reception Kimetto received. Puh-Leeeeeze!
Is it even comparable??? Mesut Ozil and his mates are accomplished World Celebrities whose images and names are as ubiquitous as those of The Pope and Barack Obama.
Our Athletes MUST learn to Entertain us. They MUST learn to sell their images and names and personalities beyond the tracks.
They MUST be carefully and meticulously trained on how to navigate the World of CELEBRITY-HOOD.
Usain Bolt is more than just a Medal-Winning,Record-Breaking Jamaican Athlete. Usain Bolt is a World Citizen,A Cultural Icon,An Entertainer,A Personality and a Trendsetter with tens of Product Endorsements.
Our Athletes should STOP being the painfully boring lot they are! Winning a Medal isn’t everything…We are already used to that. Go a step further and win Our hearts,Our Minds and Our Time. Captivate Us,Entertain Us,Capture Our Hearts..Charm Us!
Otherwise NOBODY got time meeting You up at an Airport and You cant even wave correctly! Or smile.
Damn!
