Dear Male Celebrities, You Are Allowed To Sleep With As Many Women As You Want…..Don’t let Anyone Tell You Otherwise

I’ve heard a couple of people scolding Usain Bolt after he was photographed cavorting with hot babes in Rio, then in London. Most of the complaints came from women. The same women who would drop their panties for Bolt before he can even say “Wassup Gyal?” They still staged online protests in the form of heated status updates. “Doesn’t he respect his girlfriend?” they lamented. ‘What a cheat!!!”, they added. But these are just cases of emotional women crying foul from a jaded and unrealistic standpoint.

When you are a celebrity (male celebrity…I must clarify) , it’s your duty to sleep around with many women. Forget what people say. I hate to break it to you guys reading (no I don’t) but your girlfriends and wives would cheat with any one of these celebrities, if the opportunity was there. Always be afraid if your girl is close to celebs and you are just a kawaida fella, Fame is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Fame is more powerful than vast wealth, looks, or charm. On the numbers alone, it might even be more powerful than master seduction. While tight seduction can lock down a woman like no other male attractiveness trait, fame can make a million coochies tingle at once. The resulting oscillation can dampen tsunamis.

I can’t help but swoon whenever I see a mega celebrity declaring his loyalty to one woman at an early age yet he has a veritable harem of gushing distaff admirers.. That’s a complete waste of resources. What’s the logic behind sticking to one woman when you have millions of women crushing on you? Women that will do anything for you.

Don’t pretend to be the good guy that values monogamy. A man is not built to be monogamous. That’s why there are a million sperms in your balls and not a couple. There might come a time that you will be no longer famous. You will want that attention from girls but you won’t get it. You will be the one getting rejected instead.

In that case, I must repeat. If you are famous, usjifunge buda. Get a girl every night if you can. Just make sure you know how to balance between your career and fun, otherwise you will die out quicker than the chalk of a Maths teacher.

If you are famous, don’t worry about being the poster child for promiscuity. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Spread your love to all the women that need it. Those who are criticizing you would do the same if they were you. Understand that you have something that most men desire but can’t get. And that is the ability to get women without having to struggle so hard. Do you have any idea about the kind of stress the normal man goes through just to get laid? The blue ticks on Whatsapp, the last minute resistance, the lies, the spending and the tests. It’s a battle out here.

So go ahead and sleep around with these groupies. You are only giving them what they want. You are just applying the maxim, “mtoto akililia wembe mpe.”. Just don’t get caught in a sexual scandal. Don’t impregnate women you don’t plan on settling with and most important of all, avoid diseases.