GHAFLA EXPLORES: These Are The 10 Types Of Makangas You’ll Find In Nairobi’s Matatus

Nairobi is known for its diverse matatu culture. Inside the nganyas, you’ll find several types of makangas, or conductors as noblemen prefer calling them. Their presence makes your journey to and from town exciting or annoying depending on the kind you encounter. Here are the most common species of cash collectors in public service vehicles.

Makanga wa majibu: He’s the poster-boy for ‘comebacks’. Ask him a genuine question and he’ll hit you with an annoying but cheeky answer. For example, (You: Hii gari haina watu? Him: Kwani hao wawili wenye wamekaa ndani ni ngombe?) . if I was a big muscular guy, I would be punching these guys on the face on a daily basis.

The ‘change’ thief: Probably the most anger-inducing type of makanga. He won’t give you back your balance unless you ask for it about two or three times. Some of his kind also employ an outdated tactic where they place a guy outside to announce something like “Gari ni 80 bob tao” but once you are inside, the fare suddenly gets pregnant with 20 bob and becomes 100. 

Makanga fisi: Study him closely and you’ll notice that he allows some ladies to ride on the matatu without paying fare. He does this with the intention of banging them and trust me….such makangas bang plenty of chicks. The makanga fisi’s mostly victims consist of naïve college girls and broke hood girls

Makanga wa uniform: It’s been over 10 years since laws were passed requiring conductors to wear maroon uniforms. It’s also been 10 years since that rule was unanimously ignored. Who the f*ck wants uniforms? Still, there are some makangas who never fail to wear uniform. Not new uniform but old, torn,worn out, uniform. It’s as if there’s a headmaster who is going to check them during parade time.

Lady makanga: This one is rare to find but once in a while, you’ll bump into one in Eastlando matatus. She’s a badass who doesn’t take bullshit from anyone. And since she’s a lady, you can’t harass her or shout at her like you would any other conductor. She also speaks fluent sheng like Shiks Kapyenga

‘Deaf’ makanga: Thes types always pretends to not hear you when you say ‘shukisha’ or ‘nipatie change yangu’. You literally have to touch them physically for them to attend to your request. I think they just enjoy being touched. Creepy guys.

Brotherhood makanga: You’ll find him in the swaggy matatus that play loud music and rumble like ferraris. He usually has about five of his buddies crowded at the door while doing a lot of nothing. They just stand there like standing is what they were born to do.

Drunk makanga: His life is one big party. You’ll always find him drunk, arguing with passengers and swinging on the door like a pendulum.

The ‘gunia ya viazi’ makanga: Yea….this one packs people inside the matatu like they are potatoes in a sack. He’ll force you to share one seat with a 300 pound human being. The sad thing is that even if you refuse and look for another mat, there’ll always be someone else willing to share

The unsettled makanga: This is the type that just can’t stay inside the matatu. Whenever the driver slows down, he’ll jump out and walk around then run after the nganya and dandia when it starts speeding again.  His aim is to put on a show but the good news is that most people don’t care.