Here Is Donald Trump’s Open Letter To Kenyans
Dear Kenyans,
Sorry to hurt your feelings but you are all pieces of shit. Yes…I said it. I am never afraid to say anything and I won’t be afraid to tell you Africans the truth. You are idiots and that’s why the most idiotic president in US history came from your country. Are you fuming with anger right now? I don’t care. Your women don’t even have real hair. They wear weaves made from dead white and latino people. They put so much make-up on their faces that they end up looking like paintings by Vincent Van Gogh
You are worthless and when I become president. I will never allow you into the United States of America. Why do you keep on travelling to other countries anyway and taking photos at airports like it’s such a big achievement? You should stay home and build your poor nation. I will help you do that by ensuring that every Kenyan who is currently living in America is deported back home. I want to make America great again. I want an America that is full of pure white people, not immigrants and Africans.
By the way, you Kenyans deserve a tough leader like Mugabe or Museveni, someone who can control you and keep you in line. Sure, you can say you oppose me or that you don’t even take me seriously. But let me ask you: How many articles do you read about me in a day?
My candidacy continues to surge forward, because none of you—not a single one of you—can look away. Not even for a second. The thing is, I’ve got all of you eating out of my hand and I haven’t even been elected commander-in-chief yet. You keep obsessing over every little thing I do and say. You are eager to see me as president because you now that the world deserves a strong leader like me. Don’t look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want to stick around and see what that looks like, because you and I both know I am the greatest human being alive.
I can tell you’re practically praying that I don’t get elected but all that will be in vain. And I’m going to keep riding this fascination, this little fixation you have with me as far as you’ll take me. You know I will.
The truth is that you all love me. You want to see me as president. You want more. You hear “Trump” and your attention snaps to the TV or phone screen right away.
Don’t think it’s true? Fine. You know what you have to do to make me go away. Just quit paying attention. Stop reading this letter right now. That’s right, I didn’t think so. You are still reading. I have power over you. I have the power to make the next few years to be one of the most incredible times in our world’s history, and not a single one of you can say you’re not at least a little bit curious to see how this wild ride shakes out. So just keep clicking every link that mentions my name and like you have done on this. Even if it’s not true. Even if it’s just a creative piece by one crazy Kenyan writer called Philip Etemesi
Yes…none of this is true. None of these words were said or written by me. I don’t even write letters. This is all Philip Etemesi’s imagination. This is satire. Now let’s see the people who usually catch feelings and jump to the comments section without reading the whole article. And let’s see the blogs that copy-paste from Ghafla without reading through.
Yours sincerely
Donald Trump.
