“I Like My Women As Dark As Charcoal”, Nyota Ndogo’s Mzungu Husband Explains Why He Would Never Marry A Light Skinned Female

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. And the earth was without form. And God said let there be light… And there was light. Then He said, let there be darkness…And there was darkness. God named the light Day and then he named the darkness Nyota Ndogo.

Nyota Ndogo would go on to be a famous singer. And then after her music career was no more, she would marry a mzungu who hailed from a distant land called Denmark. But just as the songstress thought she had found happiness, Twitter users would troll her mercilessly, for looking like Kiwi Shoe Polish on her wedding day. KOT’s opinion about the topic would surely terrify people with a conscience.

Nyota Ndogo’s ghost like appearance on her wedding day elicited a rainbow of reactions – ranging from confusion to concern and then utter dismay. This was largely caused by the several pounds of head disfiguring make-up she had applied. But evil Kenyans argue that even without cosmetics, she still has a face that looks like a disaster area.

When asked about the trolls, he said he doesn’t care what people think, ‘Haters gonna hate.’ Mr. Nielsen insists that he likes his women as dark as charcoal. And so do other white guys who love Africans.

This is truly shocking since in the economy that is black beauty, light skinned women are the goddesses – men flock to their temples to worship.

“I would never marry a light skinned woman. These kinds of women are smug brats. They can’t cook or clean. All they care about is their beauty. I’ve always wanted a dark woman so that I get cute babies too. Another thing is dark skinned girls have way less restrictions in the bedroom than light skinned girls. You can basically do whatever, wherever with them. And they’ll smile through it all.”

I am not sure if many people will agree with Mr. Nielsen’s views but it’s good of him to defend his wife anyway.

Well, at least unlike other white men, Mr. Henning Nielsen won’t have to buy his wife a Halloween costume when the time comes. She already has a natural one. That’s some really efficient cost-cutting mechanism don’t you think?

Meanwhile, rumor has it that Nyota Ndogo has been offered a movie role by one of Nollywood’s top executives. She will star as an evil witch. No surprises there at all.

“All the best in your marriage and career Nyota Ndogo, when you sang ‘Kuna Watu Na Viatu’, you were clearly looking in the mirror.”

 

 

Note: This article is a work of satire. Etemesi shall not be held responsible for any feelings caught