Bensoul has been caught up in a situation that has left his relationship with some girl named Noni Gathoni on the rocks if not over after it was revealed that he was expecting a child with yet another random groupie he met in Mombasa.
In case you’re a bit slow on the uptake, allow me to simplify what that means; he was caught after Edgar Obare revealed to the world that he had stepped out on his lady love with a Mombasa based groupie and the resultant pregnancy is currently entering its second trimester.
I don’t know whether we should be shocked or elated that the guy that gave us the immensely popular hit, Nairobi, had lived up to precisely what he sang about. That’s right, turns out that while art often imitates reality, on this one Bensoul was simply singing about the fact that he himself is prone to stepping out on his partner (wonder whether she too is guilty of this).
But while the world and Noni’s relationship are burning, we can get some positives from their issues as we can learn a thing or 5 from their experiences and allow that to enrich our lives. So rather than pontificating and passing hollow judgement on Bensoul, I would rather focus on giving you some lessons I picked up from all this so let’s get right to it:
#1. He is too young to have considered a serious relationship
I have a mentor who keeps on telling me that I am far too young for a serious relationship. If anything, he is constantly telling me that I should not get into a relationship until i am 30. Any man’s 20s are for learning himself, playing the field and building himself up whether it is in academics or learning the ropes of their career of choice or business. In a few rare cases such as Bensoul’s his was his craft as a musician. He should have focused exclusively on that and not given his commitment to anyone.
Why? Because he has zero experience with female nature and doesn’t know how to define himself yet as a man who is his own mental point of origin. Instead, he started defining himself as Bensoul the artist and Noni’s boyfriend. He also got caught up in the machinations of his paramour because he is naive to the ways of the world and feminine nature.
#2. He should have used protection
Man, I can’t believe I have to say this but when you’re sleeping with someone and you have a lot to lose, use protection. When you’re sleeping with a local random, use protection. If you’ve heard of HIV, use protection. Hapa Bensoul aliniangusha. Always use protection. And just as we saw with Drake, when you’re done, dispose of it yourself. Always be in control of the birth control option yourself and pulling out isn’t sufficient.
#3. Monogamy is a fool’s errand -if and only if…
You’re high value, and here I do not mean what you think of yourself but rather the fact that the world believes that you’re at the top, then you will always have options. He is a top Kenyan artist signed to one of the best local record labels around, Sol-Generation. Noni had to have been a fool to think she would have him all to herself. Not only that but selfish too. Why did he attempt to yolk himself unevenly to any one woman?
Societal pressure and norms are truly a ball and chain to some men. Bensoul has achieved that rarified air. One of the reasons I had previously said he is too young and inexperienced for a committed relationship is because if he had taken the time to play the field, he would have realised that at his level, a lot of women would be willing to share him if he only been honest about it from the beginning. Instead, he allowed himself to fall into the oneitis trap and subsequently attempt to maintain a monogamous relationship. To his benefit? Certainly not his and though the sacrifice seemed to be for Noni, she’s now hurting and humiliated after realising this was a fool’s endeavour.
#4. Baby trapping is real
I do not care what anyone says, Bensoul was bay trapped. Yes, he is a foolish young man who clearly thinks with the wrong head but he was clearly baby trapped by a random bussdown who views him as her ticket into not just a comfortable life but also celebrity status -she is now forever more going to be Bensoul’s baby mama. Kenyan celebs need to start moving on a different type of time.
#5. Having real mentors is important
All in all I doubt that Bensoul would have found himself in this sticky situation if he had a real male mentor in his life, someone who has walked the same journey he has, someone who has experienced the highs and lows of Kenyan celeb status. I mean, come on, how did no one teach the young man that he had to use protection because he is literally a meal ticket to some Kenyan ladies? Hell, he could even have been taught how to handle a sneaky link.
June 30, 2022