Oga Obinna has been trashed by the media and Edgar Obare for his recent tiff with his baby mama. I too have weighed in and said I do believe that he handled the entire situation wrong.
However, even though he was wrong for how he has been handling this situation, I have to also say that this is a complex situation. He is faced with an age-old problem most men have been through if they have children out of wedlock: toxic baby mamas.
You see, Oga Obinna is a damaged, broken man. We know this from his own description of his relationship with his father. He is a man who for the longest time yearned for his father’s validation. As a result, he is a man struggling with a war within himself to make himself whole. A task he doesn’t know how to go about doing. We can acknowledge that and also simultaneously acknowledge the fact that his baby mama is a toxic woman who is out to hurt him and is using his reputation, her willingness to play in the mud and ultimately, their children as weapons.
You see, he is a public figure so it goes without saying that he would be pressed about how people at large perceive him. In a way, she knew what buttons to push to get him dancing along to her tune. This is manipulative behaviour that is also dumb because of how shortsighted it is.
Oga Obinna is in a business (media) where the decision of whether or not you’re successful isn’t dependent on your audience but on the politics you play. And the politicians are the ad agencies and their reps. And in Kenya, the ad agencies are largely controlled by women and male feminists. So his baby mama put him in the tough position of either “being the bigger man” and taking the L in silence or he can fight for what essentially is an existential fight because she is targeting his bread and butter.
Let that stew for a bit… What I am saying is that the bay mama who he still sends money to from time to time is willing to jeopardise that because of “reasons”.
And that is what presents us with our dilemma, how do you negotiate with a terrorist? Once that bit is answered, the next issue becomes a question of how he can defend himself without coming off like a douche.
At the end of the day, this is one of those situations in which prevention is the far superior option. Men need to learn to be selective about who they impregnate and settle down with. Oga Obinna has learnt this lesson and I am sure he rues the day he met his baby mama. His is the case of a weak man meeting with a bitter woman.
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