DJ Mo: How to cheat and not get caught

Following DJ Mo’s infidelity scandal, I think this is an opportune time for me to give you all a refresher course on how to get away with cheating because you Kenyan men are clearly lacking both common sense and decorum when it comes to how they handle their affairs and infidelity.

DJ Mo and 4 Kenyan celebrities who allegedly cheated on their partners with ugly women

DJ Mo is currently under the societal microscope after his buffoonery led to some unforgivable blunders that resulted in him getting caught up in a scandal with a trollop based in the Middle East. And what is worse is that he was not only betrayed but his wife too was humiliated.

Size 8
Size 8 reborn is having issues with her husband DJ Mo following his sex scandal

And as a result, we find ourselves here once again, with me trying to browbeat some sense into you and your friends so you stop getting caught up and tripped up by stupid mistakes. We are not gathered here to discuss the morality of the action of infidelity but we are gathered here because of our mutual understanding of the pragmatic need to hide any wayward activities one might engage in. Because let’s face it, no one here wants to experience what DJ Mo did. So let us delve into the subject matter with vigour:

The 3 reasons why Size 8 should divorce DJ Mo and we will support her

1. Get a kabambe
This should be the first rule out of common sense. You never use your personal phone to sweet talk and sext. That is an amateur mistake. You need to know that phone is always subject to scrutiny. So what you do is get a trap phone that you keep hidden in your car.
Size 8
Size 8 reborn who looks better than DJ Mo’s affair partner
2. Don’t alter your behaviour
Stop changing things like your cologne, stop switching your schedule and stop altering your behaviour. you simply act like everything is normal. And that is easy to do when you’re in control of the relationship.

3. Don’t send Mpesa
One of the easiest ways for men -especially married men- to get caught, is by sending Mpesa to their lovers. Now all she needs to do is to provide that trail to your partner and your goose is cooked.

DJ Mo and Size 8
DJ Mo and Size 8 in happier days

4. Stop sending nudes
Do I really need to explain this?! Can you not see how much drama this particular stunt has caused DJ Mo? He cannot even go on the offensive to defend himself otherwise, he risks having his pecker leaked online.

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At the end of the day, we need to understand that unlike DJ Mo, we aren’t trying to bring shame to ourselves and our families. The best option to take when the urge to stray bites is for you to simply not. But if the urge grows beyond your capacity to handle it, then surely, it is our responsibility to ensure we do not get caught.

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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay