Modern wives like Amina Mude need traditional role models
Amina Mude has just confessed that she was probably the architect of the end of her marriage and from the looks of things, it is all down to her lack of impulse control that led her emotions to run unchecked.
According to her, the fact that we even found out that her marriage was on the rocks is because she impulsively revealed that information. We weren’t even meant to know that they were having issues in the first place but as the wise from days long gone often would say, loose lips sink ships.
And indeed, now we know that Amina Mude and her husband, Ben Kitili aren’t on the best of terms and their marriage is on the brink. To add to that, we know that she poured crazy fuel on a stupid fire.
And therein lies the biggest issue even I can see that the couple faces; they do not know what to hold secret and what to keep private.
Amina Mude needs to understand that secrecy locks the demons in while privacy locks out the demons. And given that the two of the,m are a team, they need to know to address their issues privately.
Ben Kitili has kept his mouth shut because he knows that while every couple faces issues at different points of their lives, the couples that survive are the couples that only talk to people who genuinely want to help them. Amina Mude needs to be taught that her social media followers are not her friends, and they are often not even mere well-wishers.
Or maybe the issue is that Amina Mude wants fame and status. She wants to make a name for herself as a Kenyan celebrity. That is why she was willing to open her marriage and more so her husband, Ben Kitili to detractors and haters.
What Amina Mude needs is for her to go to one of her aunts, an older one who has been happily married for a long time and ask for advice. She needs to learn to turn to her family for advice and not social media. She needs to get that one aunty she knows she can trust who is all for team Kitili because as I said earlier, she and her husband are a team.
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And I am reminded of the fact that it used to fall upon the shoulders of aunties to perform the duty of marital counsellors to their nieces and daughters. Amina Mude is a cause to bring back this aspect of African tradition. Your single friends won’t help you and even that friend of yours who has been married for five years can’t help you. A woman needs to go back to her aunty who is happily married for over twenty years.
Only your aunty has enough experience having seen it all in her marriage and she is the only one who would help you. The problem with going to your mummy dearest is that it is an intrusion of your parent’s privacy.
Amina Mude needs to look to the right places to get answers about marriage.