Modern Kenyan Marriages Archives

I was recently having a rather riveting conversation with some of my friends and we were discussing the modern Kenyan women we were dating. The thing about this conversation is that we were trying to wonder whether we were going to carry forward these relationships to their natural conclusion; marriage.

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And this led us to a much more interesting topic: What qualities do men consider in women when they want to get married? What separates the women who will be permanent side chicks from the women who get wifed up?

And as you were having these conversations I ended up calling a mentor of mine to give his opinions on the matter. What you had to say was both interesting and polarizing. Because my friends argument was that he is from a different generation from ours they are for our values will have changed significantly from his.

WHY MODERN KENYAN MARRIAGES ARE DOOMED TO FAIL

His counter was that since time immemorial they are certain qualities that man have valued in their women and these have not changed since we evolved from being hunter-gatherers and started leading a more sedentary life that’s allowing us to become civilized.

So what are some of these qualities he mentioned that make a woman worthy of carrying your last name? That make her worthy of being the mother of your children? Let’s take a quick look.

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Trust
Never marry a woman who does not trust you with her life. It really doesn’t make sense and I woman will trust you with her intimate areas, trust you to put a baby and her but at the same time refused to give you her trust when it comes to her own life. Trust bares cooperation. Trust bares submission.

Genuine desire
Don’t Marry any woman that does not have genuine burning desire for you what does that mean? If she does not jump your bones every chance she gets, if she’s constantly we buffing your advances, if you know she’d rather be anywhere else done with you as you’re getting intimate with her then why marry her because the truth is when it comes to intimacy, side chicks are better than girlfriends who are intern better than wives. What that means is a side chick has a lot to prove to you so she will if you like her life depends on it. A girlfriend won’t be as crazy as a side chick but she still wants to get the ring so she will give you as much intimacy as you want. By the time she has graduated to becoming your wife they usually slow down because they have attained everything they ever wanted from you.

Rejection of feminism
Do not make the mistake of marrying a feminist. Has nothing to do with any biblical reference is just as simple as the fact that feminist women are the least agreeable and the least cooperative women who could ever deal with.
There’s a reason why in the Bible they say a man would rather live in a corner on his roof than in the same house as a cantankerous argumentative woman. What’s about feminism is that while there are certain aspects of our culture that need change, what it has become in its modern-day iteration is simple penile envy and misandry. Marry a woman who understands that her power is not in fighting with you but rather in her feminine essence.

Strong father
This particular point came with a caveat; if you are a strong man then make sure you marry a woman whose father is a strong man. If you know yourself to be a weak man I make money easily pushed over avoid marrying a woman with a strong father. That is because she will have grown up with the understanding of what a man truly is at his best. If you are a strong man she will also be able to look back at her father see you in him and appreciate you even more. But if you’re a weak man and she had a strong father you will always fall short and she will not defer to your decisions preferring to involve her father in your family affairs.

Low body count
This is a no-brainer do more men or women have slept with the more damage he has done to a bonding ability as well as the less intelligent and disciplined she shows herself to be when it comes to decision-making.
There’s also visceral components to this: Promiscuous women tend to retain the semen of the men they have slept with. This is known as human chimerism.

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Modern marriages are an institution that Kenyans cannot seem to get right. That explains why we have such high divorce rates despite the fact that it is a herculean task to actually get divorced in Kenya.

Why most marriages don’t seem to work anymore

Before we even begin to understand why Kenya divorces are occurring at an alarming rate we should first appreciate just how difficult it is to get a divorce in Kenya for you to grasp the magnitude of the problem.

In Kenya, for one to get a divorce they must first have been separated for 3 years. That means that regardless of whether or not you feel your marriage was a mistake regardless of whether or not they’re extenuating circumstances such as cruelty (which is how Kenyans term abusive marriages), abandonment and infidelity, the legal system gives you 3 years to see whether or not you and your spouse can work out the differences.

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And you have to have notified the government of the fact that you are separated. What is why couples from our parents Generations would simply Go their separate ways and continue living life without bothering to get a legally recognised divorce. In fact it is so crazy that a lot of our parents who were separated could actually be charged with bigamy if anyone cared to pursue that case.

Regardless of this fact, modern Kenyans seem to be willing to see through the divorce to the end. Why is this the case?

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Well for starters, there is a fact that modern Kenyans are an adult response who are more than happy to cheat on their spouse to the extent that well over 30% of married Kenyan men are raising children that are not their own (and that is a very conservative estimate). So why would a man choose to remain married after finding out he was raising another man’s bastards?

The question of infidelity shines the spotlight on the fact that our moral fabric as a society is worn out. Everyone seems to be cheating these days and it has gotten so that most popular songs are about sharing either the man or the woman.

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But by far the biggest reason why can modern Kenyan marriages are a scam is down to the fact that we are not raised to be husbands and wives anymore. There is no more mentorship or matters family which means the average man has no idea what is expected of him as a husband and a father. The modern Kenyan woman is endorphin hated with the idea that she doesn’t need a man to help her raise her children and as a result she has 7 different children by seven different men.

So what you have is a man and a woman who get married for one of two reasons the first being either that they have conceived a child together and the woman is unwilling to terminated the second being that they feel they’re running out of time to establish a family ergo settling down with the first clown that shows an interest in a long-term relationship.

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Add to this already deadly concoction the fact that when things get thick – as they normally do in life- the married couple has no one to turn to for help who has been married for more than a decade.

When they see counselling in church they do so from a pastor who sleeps with his congregants and choir members. When they are seeking counseling from either the female pastor go to the most senior female congregant, they are being advised by a “Harrier auntie” who probably poisoned her husband so she could inherit all their marital property.

And that pretty much sums up the state of modern Kenyan marriages and also explains why I never contribute towards wedding fans because I would feel cheated why to have donated money for a couple’s wedding only for the marriage to have lasted one year.