Why you must NEVER take relationship advice from female Kenyan celebrities

If you are the type to keep up with celebrities, then you know this year has been a year chock full of celeb couples being tested and marriages being rocked by infidelity rumours along with other issues. The headlines have screamed about the Kabus, Mulamwah and Sonnie’s drama, Mungai Eve constantly emasculating her boyfriend and so on.

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As a result of all this celebrity turmoil, one of the things I have come to realise is just how many Kenyans are hung up on celeb relationships. We seem to hang on their every word and when they do something that jeopardises their relationships, they are in for a rough time from fans who are especially mesmerised by the illusion of love and monogamy.

Latest dad in town, Mulamwah?

A result of this obsession is that when celebrities who have no business discussing or giving relationship advice do so, we cling to their every word as if it were divinely inspired yet it is either just a common sense statement or a statement that is so vapid it is astounding.

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Case in point would be the Kabus.  They are going to be the first Kenyan celebrity couple we dissect. For a long time, they were “couple goals”. And as a result of that, they would give unsolicited relationship advice with Sarah would always be found meddling in other celebs’ relationships, either dispensing advice or trying to protect them from justly deserved fan blow back. They were the uncle and aunty who most celebrities would run to for advice and a quick cuddle. Now we come to find out that they were merely putting up appearances. they aren’t who we thought them to be. Seems Simon Kabu is a man like all the rest of us and he wants to have his cake and eat it. He is rumoured to be happily married to his wife but has been having his needs service on the side. Check mate Sarah. Now give us practical advice from what you will do now. Will it be to accept polygamy or will you split your home and empire?

Power couple, Sarah and Simon Kabu

Then there is Mulamwah and his ex, Carol Sonnie. When they were a couple, they would flaunt the fact on their social media pages. Then a baby was born whose paternity is still a subject of heated debate to this day and they went their separate ways. Now Mulamwah is giving us juenile advice like “do not chase after a woman who like material things” and Carol Sonnie is subtle painting her ex as an abusive man by telling her followers to “leave their abusive relationships”. Both of these are low iQ takes on the matter that we teach even troglodytes.

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And how about Murugi Munyi (Yummy Mummy) and her husband? Well, she is always talking about how she yells at her husband and their marriage was rocked by infidelity allegations… Actually, hold on, it was reported that at one point they had completely separated, with her husband finding love and comfort in the arms of another man. They have since reunited and despite this, she still says and posts a lot of things that are disparaging to her husband. Surely, what sort of sane individual would look to this woman for marital advice? She is the same woman who underwent elective cosmetic surgery and when asked whether she had discussed and gotten permission from her husband, said it was her body. But had things gone wrong, that same man would have been shamed if he chose not to waste his life taking care of her.

And what about Amberay and her former paramour Jimal Roho Safi? These two clowns actually thought they had a lot to teach us from how they conducted themselves and paraded their love life despite the fact it was an illicit love and we all saw the foolishness in their actions long before that bus hit them. Can you imagine an illicit lover giving married people advice on how to keep their man? A woman who has engaged in physical fights with her lover’s wife telling us how to treat a husband? Or Jimal telling us about love and cherishing family?

Kenyan celebrities with the exception of perhaps Andrew Kibe and Amerix do not deserve to be given the time of day nor the effort it requires to listen to them. They are a vapid, self serving bunch whose only interaction with live is a misguided attempt at making infatuation last long enough to turn into marriage. We are bereft of stories such as Nameless and Wahus: a story of two flawed human being who have both strayed and struggled but ultimately chose to remain married and honour their vows.

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