To many, Tanzanian songstress, Vanessa Hau Mdee has been a sweetheart. Her music has been a charm to our hearts, her voice has seen us get lost in the world of fantasy and her beauty has bewitched the hearts of many.
But unknown to masses, the bubbly personality has been battling alcoholism and depression for a long while now. Something she kept top secret before she could no longer bottle it in and it eventually exploded.
Sharing intimate details about her grueling journey with the addictive drink on her podcast, Deep Dive with Vanessa Mdee, the 32- year old confessed just how brutal alcohol addiction had made her life.
Alcohol addiction
Not able to make firm choices, not able to recognize herself anymore, because her life was just but the routine – anxiety, depression were the faces of her everyday life.
I became a person of horrible choices. I couldn´t recognize myself anymore because I woke up every day trying to just get by and I don´t want to just get by anymore. More than ever, I had moments of anxiety and moments of depression. I had moments of ¨I don´t know what to do next¨ because this pressure is unnatural for a human being. And what comes after that?
Also read: Sad goodbyes! Vanessa Mdee announces her exit from the music industry (Details)
¨This may come as a shock to many because I hid it so well but I was depressed and an alcoholic,¨ she continued.
But in as much as it hurts, because that is what the truth does, she is no longer in the business of living a lie to her fans.
This is my truth and me letting you into this space because I don´t want to live a candy-coated life anymore. I became a robot and I have no desire to be a robot or be unhappy anymore, because that´s what I was, unhappy. Had moments of ¨we are enjoying this¨, I had moments of ¨this is fun¨, moments of ¨this is a beautiful day¨.
Yes, she lived that life, she was in that space before, she tolerated the lies and hypocrisy, but no more! On the same note, the TV beauty has called it quits in the world of music.