“Utaolewa lini?” is a question Shix Kapienga has revealed she’s tired of hearing. She’s done with being asked about why, at 35 she’s still single with zero prospects on the horizon especially since it has been nearly over a year since she and her ex, comedian and political aspirant, MC Jesse went their separate ways and he is in a relationship that looks stable (for those of us looking in from the outside).
Soko ngumu: Shix Kapienga urged to settle down after revealing she is single at 35 years & still family-less
Never mind that there was the rumour back in the day that my mentor only just made me aware of, about how when they had first started dating, MC Jesse was a married man whom Shix had managed to snatch from his wife and the two couldn’t get enough of each other. Infact, they even dated for quite a while and many were wondering when they’d pull the trigger and get hitched.
But why, oh why, is Shix Kapienga still single and without children and why do Kenyans seem so invested in her marital status and womb? Well, it is because we are still a conservative and traditional society and we still view success for women as them managing to become wives and then mothers and having successful families. That is why we celebrate the likes of Lulu Hassan and Wahu Kagwi.
We also are aware that at 35, most women begin to find conceiving children an entirely difficult and dangerous undertaking due to the reality of “geriatric pregnancy.” Click on that link to find out what that’s all about but in a nutshell, women at her age struggle to get pregnant and then carry that pregnancy to term (they or the baby could die) and even when they manage to, the children run the risk of deformities.
This raises the question of what any man with options would look for in her as a wife. What could she honestly have to offer a man who is a catch and hasn’t yet started his family because he was chasing excellence and trying to put a dent in his world? At best, given these concerns, only high-value divorcees and men looking for second wives would be interested in anything meaningful. Afterall, Shix Kapienga looks amazing for her age but the question of legacy is something African men would consider because very few truly want to be “child-free”.
And Kenyans are watching for different reasons. I am watching to see how this will all play out. Call it academic curiosity: is it true the older the woman the less likely she is to find love and happiness? Kenyan women and feminists are watching because they are hoping she actually does manage to land a successful and great man. That would signal that there’s still hope for them yet. Kenyan men are watching because some are simps and want to save her from her singleness, others are watching because she reminds them of the girls who rejected them when they were young and sexy and this is an avenue for them to get some sort of revenge.
And the questions will never end until the day she does announce an engagement or a child on the way. So if she decides to do another QnA with her fans, she should either toughen her skin in anticipation of this question or just avoid announcing that she got them.
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