REVEALED: This Is What Causes Fake Accents

I know this is going to rub some people the wrong way but I believe in the African saying that goes, “The mother that canes you is the mother that loves you. “ It’s therefor my duty and everyone else’s responsibility to help correct ratchet behavior in society.  So listen ladies with fake accents;

What is it about accents that fascinates you so much? Why fake it? Are you embarrassed of your actual accent? Why won’t you just be you?  Why would you adopt a fake accent whereas you spent most of your childhood in Kitui, karatina or Migori?

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone with a fake accent then suddenly their real accent slips out?Fake accents are annoying but annoying people are a novelty. The drama that they bring adds the much needed spice to life. Even though this might be the case, having a fake accent is one of the most detested misdemeanors. Many principled people can’t help sniggering when they hear a fake accent

It’s okay to have an accent if you deserve one. Maybe you grew up in one of Kenya’s posh neighborhoods, maybe you went to a posh school or maybe you studied abroad. If you are among these groups, you are allowed to have a foreign accentthat’s twisted in any way. But an accent acquired from TV or friends is a no no.

Fake Accent Syndrome has actually been listed down on the web as one of the most bizarre personally inflicted disorders. If for example you were speaking good fluent Swahili when you joined campus then two years later you are forcing weird English sounds and abbreviations out of your mouth, you have a problem.

 It’s clear that people who speak with fake accents do so because of a number of reasons.In fact many reasons: Low self-esteem, embarrassment about who they are/where they’re from, wanting to appear “admirable” or more worldly in the eyes of other. They feel the need to be somebody else because they fear others will not accept them for who they are.

Psychologists believe that this is a case of mimesis – which means imitation or mimicry. They also believe that it’s desperation to belong and a lack of true personal identity. When one is with a group of friends they often imitate or take their style of speech. This is so that you can fit into a peer group.

Psychologists further stress that lacking personal identity is detrimental to personal growth since in life, you’ll always aim at being a follower rather than a leader. When you have a fake accent, you tend to believe that you are someone who you are not. All your focus and effort revolves around this belief yet what you should actually be doing is focusing on who you are and who you have the potential to become.

In an interview with popular M-net medical show ‘Doctors’, world renowned psychologist, Professor Nick Miller said that people with fake accents need to be talked out of it. This means being corrected by someone with a real genuine accent or by a counselor.  A person with a fake accent should be subjected to constant daily conversations by close people with genuine speech.  This way, they might change.They also need to frequently see a counselor so that they can be helped to correct other areas of their lives that they might have faked. This is because people who fake their accents always get the desire to go all the way and fake a lot of other things. Words from a professional

I understand that people with foreign accent always sound cool and classy but that’s no reason to fake yours. Many men will agree that they are always turned off by women bearing accents that aren’t genuine.  It’s hard to find guys with fake accents unless we are talking about Larry Madowo when he’s recording Instagram videos abroad. Ladies on the other hand are tolerated since men still want to hit that thing.

 Many men go with the mantra, ‘You can pretend to talk like a British waitress all you like so long as you drop the goodies.’ But if you have a fake accent, chances are that the journey will always end on the goodies part, not marriage and all those other things you dream of.

Note: For those asking, Etemesi’s Tales are now on my blog every Friday, not on Ghafla (follow me on social media to learn more)