Sleep With Me Pendo: Cabu Gah ‘Begs’
Cabugah seems to have a thing or two to tell Kenyan socialites,first it was Huddah whose head was on the chopping board now Pendo is getting served!
Here is an open letter from the rubble rouser himself to the Socialite
”SLEEP WITH ME,PENDO.
Pendo,Oh,Pendo! How great thou art! How gorgeous thou art! How damn sexy thou be!
Why dont You ever want to sleep with Me? Why You never want to wake up beside Me? Why,Pendo,Why?!
I am a man,Like the rest…I want You,need You bad…I want You too,to be with You,to hold You,n squeeze You,and rub You and drive You crazy!
Amnt I a man,Pendo? Why You never run after me too? Why You never box me into some corner,grab me by my shirt collar,push my face closer,press your ample bossom against mine,hold me behind my neck and shower with with an avalanche of endless kisses and wild,wild romance?! Why Pendo?
I heard that you ADMITTED to have crept up into the room of Nigerian songster Davido,I heard that You spent hours,perching on the roof of the hotel room,like some lonely nocturnal bird…like an Owl…with Your sexual tentacles ready to attack,ready to swoop on an unsuspecting Davido…
Pendo,Oh,Pendo!
You admitted to have swooshed Your way into his room,You played Cleopatra on the poor Naija broda,and My,oh,My,You ripped the boy apart,You cajoled him and coaxed him into doing You…into humping You! And Poor Davido! Oh poor boy! The broda couldnt resist Your sexual allure…You tantalized him by the power of your words and the charm of your wiles!
And he gave it to You! And while he denied ever meeting such a ratchet as You, You still went ahead to brag about it,You plastered the social media with photos of You two! And proudly ADMITTED that Davido was the BEST You’ve ever had! Wow!
I thought girls DONT KISS AND TELL!
But then again,Who said Pendo is a “Girl”??
Pendo,oh,Pendo! Yesterday I heard that You also ADMITTED to have had it with Willy Paul too! Oh Willy Paul,the poor gospel lothario! Willy here,Willy there!
Once again,You proudly and publicly ADMITTED to have sneaked up on the poor boy Willy,and,with your hyptonizing charm and irresistible allure,You got the boy droppin’ em pants for You!
Oh,Give it to Me,Willy! Do it,Harder,Willy! Harder!
And just the other day,the internet was awash with sensational stories of how You wanted Jamaican DJ Demarco to impregnate You! I heard You wanted HIS child! BADLY.
But I dont remember You publicly ADMITTING that…
Pendo,Oh,Pendo!
What must I do for You to jump into bed with Me?? I want You,Pendo. I do.
I want You,Now! I want You badly! And am tired of waiting for You to stalk me and dumbfound me into jumping under the sheets with You!
I am tired of thinking I am Davido,or Willy the Polo Polo Paul or Demarco or the next male superstar You are about to kick it with!
Maybe I dont have their star power,or maybe I am NOT so sexy,or maybe I may be crappy in bed or maybe You just havent bumped into me yet!
And because of that,I am tired of waiting for You to notice me. I am tired of waiting for You to wake up under my butt!
I have now DECIDED to stalk You,find You,pounce on You,grab You,whisk You to some fancy hotel,play for You SEXUAL HEALING by Marvin Gaye….then go down to my knees and ask You,
“Pendo,will You DO Me?”
And I will remember to carry a bouquet of fresh flowers and a ring,Yes,a MEN-gagement ring...
And I will give You the SATISFACTION of the Year! I will spin Your world around and leave You sweating and squirming and squirting like a USAID-funded water tap!
In the meantime,continue camping at the Airport waiting to cavort and romp with the next MALE SUPERSTAR coming to town!
And then PROUDLY and SHAMELESSLY announcing it to the World. Even before the boys themselves do.
Good Luck,Pendo!
Good Luck!
Lakini usisahau kwamba Mimi nimejawa na uPENDO kwako.
Nipende pia….. Pendo”
