THE TRUTH: The Government Should Introduce Compulsory Cooking Classes For All Kenyan Women

Just as there is compulsory military training for all men in some countries, it’s high time the government introduced compulsory cooking classes for all Kenyan women. Those that fail should be made to repeat until the recipes stick to their weave-covered heads

Kenya is becoming a hub of fat and ugly feminists who try to belittle the importance of cooking. Instead they try to champion for equal rights. They claim to be enlightened women and wear this distinction like a badge of honor. The hard truth is that the “what a man can do a woman can do better” mantra today’s women squawk about is grossly inaccurate and they all know it. Kenyan men are becoming better than women at just about everything and no amount of social reconditioning or media brainwashing is going to change that.

We are having a crop of women who prepare chapatis that look like 5 bob coins. Women who can’t prepare tea without some of it spilling over to the gas cooker. Women that can actally burn water. Women that weep endlessly while making lethargic attempts to chop an onion but don’t cough even once when puffing waves of shisha

You will have an easier time getting majority of these modern Kenyan chicks to lick your balls than you will getting them to prepare you an omelette.

I am a great cook myself and so are many other Kenyan men. Try as we might to hamster something into existence that Kenyan women can provide us that we can’t provide for ourselves outside of a warm, moist hole, we just can’t think of anything.

Every time I see a chick buying takeout food in tao or in my estate, I can’t help but to snicker to myself and revel in the self awareness(and probably arrogance) that I could probably make the same dish from scratch with no problem.

When I meet a woman who doesn’t know how to prepare simple meals such as ugali and rice, I can’t help but think that somewhere along the line, someone, probably her mother, fucked up. What type of mother would send their daughters into the world not knowing the basic skills needed to feed themselves? 

Most of us men don’t need women to cook for us because we can do it ourselves. Don’t get us wrong, we would certainly like for women to cook for us because nothing’s sexier than an attractive woman slaving over a gas cooker for her man. But if she can’t or won’t, we’d be just fine.

Cooking is something that Kenyan women could be better at than men, but because they have no interest in expanding their value outside of their sexual allure, men have become the undisputed kings of the kitchen and the margin continues to widen by the day.

Today’s Kenyan woman is not interested in much other than riding the carousel, or bitching about how they can’t get a wi-fi signal at whatever overpriced coffee shop they’ve been taken to by a fisi. The ancient art of winning a man’s heart – that was once passed down from generation to generation – is dying with the advent of the modern, independent woman. Women nowadays believe that feminism gave them the right to put down their spatula, step on their domesticity and leave the oven to the maids.

THINGS NEED TO CHANGE

I think that women should know how to cook, clean, and keep a halfway decent home. I also think that men should keep a job, pay the bills, and do other manly things — like fixing stuff or changing light bulbs for instance.  If a woman isn’t bothered with cooking, don’t bother with taking her seriously.

Still, the government must act. Some form of legislation should be set up to force all women to learn how to prepare basic meals. Things ar getting wors out here.