The Westy Chronicles: About Last Friday; Drinks, Ladies And About Losing My Phone. #theJlife

We all wish to live in a perfect world free of tonsillitis and theft. I have had firsthand experience at both. With tonsils, it took a week of antibiotics and light meals to be me again, by the time I could sit down and enjoy a meal like a decent person, I had shrunk in size and looked like a shadow of my former self.

That was the part about the tonsils. They hurt me for a week, they were far much worse than breakups. You have to believe me; I have been through quite a few break-ups. They are not fun. Seriously.

So after my tonsils calmed down I decided to head out for pints that Friday evening and celebrate while flashing the forbidden finger like “I beat you tonsillitis!” What’s good?

I was about to find out the hard way, what was good.

Friday came, I was in a jolly mood that I didn’t even bother to ask for my thirty shillings balance from the tout, as I alighted from the matatu, I muttered under my breath, “go forth  ye tout, eat and grow fat”  I could barely stifle a giggle, I had no Idea i was that funny,  maybe Kevin Hart had turned green in his house, envious of my newfound talent.

Friday whizzed past as if in hurry to welcome the weekend. I left my office a little late and hit a fast foods joint, years of experience had taught me not to have one for the road on an empty stomach, It was like sleeping on a bed without sheets. 

Well fed and warm, clad in my brogues and khakis I made a beeline for westy.  I got there after an hour of being stuck in a traffic jam, someone had just fallen asleep while driving and the rest of us diligent taxpayers had to pay for his sins. How very sweet!

Westy was turned inside out by 11pm. I knew instantly that people had been paid. It was end month anyway, by the morrow 60 percent of the merry faces in the vibrant westy night life would have wasted half their salary and a little more than 2 years of their lifetime. These , esteemed people, are the little paradoxes of life.

I found a seat at the corner of a pub and ordered for a drink, whipped out my phone and called a few friends who confirmed they were still coming as agreed.

By the time my two friends came, I was feeling a little jubilant and fuzzy, life was good.  A few more bottles into it and I tossed all  restraint to the hounds. We only live once and when that once is good enough, then that is all that matters.

One more bottle and I lost it; I was to be told the following the day that I had been taking photos of everything and everyone in reckless abandon.

By the time they were filling me in with my behavior of the night past, I was saddened to the core. I had lost my phone, a Samsung J5 that had I had grown so fond of that it felt like my third arm.

After losing my beloved phone, I mourned for a week while consoling myself with a rickety generic phone  that had been donated to me by a friend .

But the silver in my cloud came soon in the form of my sister who was returning from the United states. She had learnt of my self-induced predicament and decided to surprise me with a brand new Samsung J7!  Aren’t sisters like heaven?

The front camera boasts of a 5.5 Megapixels and actually has a front flash which means that you can take all those 5,679,034 selfies at whatever light without the fear that they will turn all grainy and dark.

In the next piece I shall let you into my new relationship with the J7!

See Photos  below of the phone.