These Kenyan Male Celebs are the hardest hit by the dryspell. Poleni.

All male Celebrities have one common thing going for them – girls.
Some are like Wilt Chamberlain, or Charlie Sheen, who find themselves surrounded by hundreds of girls at any given time and who can bed an entire female province within a week.
Other celebrities, like Justin Bieber, are more restrained in their approach to girls. Even though they’re highly sought after by the female species, they prefer to take it slow and eat as minimally as possible.
Other celebrities, like Steph Curry, the basketball ace, prefer to settle down early in life and not entertain the shenanigans.
And others, like the late Prince, Fela Kuti and pretty much every rock star who ever lived (Rest in Peace Freddie Mercury) have slept their way into every woman in their circle.
Girls are helplessly attracted to male superstars. And they’ll do anything, give them anything, drop em panties anytime.
But the male celebs must be the most popping, most popular and biggest, Baddest stars. Not just any star.
In Kenya, male stars like Prezzo, Shaffie Weru, Jaguar, Kristoff, the P-Unit boys , the Sauti Sol squad and even Willy Paul have absolutely no problem getting laid.
They’re big, fabulously wealthy, gifted, popular and also very attractive.
But some male stars have endured the biggest dryspell of any male star.
They never get free, random pussy. And no girl wants to grab them at random and give it to them all night.
Dryspell, according to the Kenyan street dictionary, means, the state of going for months, even years, without having sex. Or just been in a sad state of having no free pu**y at your disposal.
You would have to be very loose, very idle and very indulged in self-hate to wake up one day and dish out some cookie to Kenrazzy just like that. He’s married to Sossun anyway. Lucky bastard. Nothing about Kenrazzy makes you want to give it to him. Not his songs. Not the way he dresses. Not those 2004-era Jean shorts and definitely not his club concerts in Mtito Andei. Of this dude was single, he’d be the King of the dry spell. Don’t tell me otherwise please. Don’t.

Back then, the dude used to be smooth with them girlies. Not today. He fell off the radar. started doing stuff that immediately becomes meme-fied and immortalized in Twitter trolls. And keeps going down and down and down. No self-respecting girl wants to offer that cookie to Jimmy Gait. Just like that. He’s gotta work harder. Or wank harder.
Good Lord. No one has been in the dry spell longer than this dude. He’s been so hit by the spell, he’s starting to look like a little desert. It’s not clear when Kenzo got pu**y last. He must have been in his early 20’s still. Dude can go months without having no girl throwing that coochie his way. Never have fapping become such a treasured pass time for a brother. Pole bro. Hii ni matata.

Only a mentally – challenged girls go stripping down for this nicca. Or some Zetech college fresher girl pursuing food and beverage. You’ll have to be drunk as a Ukrainian farmer to drop your panties for this brother. The dryspell has camped in this dudes home. No pink things can be lowered for his sake. Not with those kind of songs, that receding hairline and that horrendous clothing line. Loboko can’t get you no hoe, hoe.

OK, first, dude is not even a celeb. Just some sad hermit that reclusively lives in tiny rooms avoiding arrests and attacking fat women and all CEO’s in the country. But he’s a known blogger. Just like his other Twitter dude Xtian Dela who we must agree looks like he gets a whole lotsa pussy. But Nyakundi? Come on bro! Who wants to bang the guy that didn’t change his shirt since 2012?? Or the dude that smiles like a Zambian frog!? Or the dude that gets arrested like a matatu tout on a lazy Friday afternoon!? It’s hard to let this nigga squeeze his thing into you. Dryspell at its best.
I know, I know. He’s a politician. And a loudmouthed irritant. Not a celeb. But still, political types of his kind, the likes of Joho and Mutua and even Kidero himself are out here getting serviced all day long. Not him. Even aspirants like Steve Mbogo are sweeping away the girls. But for Miguna? Nooo way! No girl wants to wake up next to a brutish, loud yob who can’t stop yapping about himself and who looks like he can beat the hell out of you at 4am in the morning. Girls deserve better. And they know it

Back in 2006, Mr. Mapesa used to sweep away all the girls in the club. He could sleep with your sister and her sister and your girlfriend and your ex. He was that suave. That cool. Now , dude can’t even convince the tramp loitering around Loita Street to go home with him. He’s gotta work hard. Girls ain’t throwing themselves at a brother no more. Not until he goes back to the beast he used to be. And not the little, washed-up kitten he is today. With his little black jacket and little kanisa songs. It’s been a rough dryspell era for a brother.

Kenya is littered with hundreds of little-known, fire-spitting, beef-oriented underground rappers who converge at the Sarakasi Dome and Goethe for monthly rap battles. These dudes may be skilled at their craft. But nobody has historically endured a harsher dryspell climate than these dudes. First, they’re too engrossed working on that mixtape to go out and find girls. Two, they barely have enough money to record leave alone to treat women and shower them with goodies. Three, nobody wants to randomly sleep with some crazy, wordplay – spinning skinny dude with torn jeans, a worn out Sahara boot and a little black bag on their bag. Not unless you’re into horror movies. The underground is the worst place to be. It’s a wank marathon for years. Wank marathooooooooon
This list ain’t over…. No, not yet bro.
Have a steamy day now, won’t you?