Why It’s Okay To Cheat On Your Woman (Men Must Be Polygamous)

My colleague janet Chao had talked about this cheating issue but let me touch on it too from an African man’s perspective. So after the Beyonce and Jay Z Lemonade drama this past week, guys everywhere have been suggesting that no man should date or marry a powerful woman, because once you cheat, she will literally construct lightning and direct it to your ass. That’s true, but beautiful and powerful women are sweet. Imagine banging Betty Kyallo or a female CEO of a top company. The pleasure you derive from that cannot be equaled by banging mama mboga or a salonist. And your boys will worship the ground you walk on too if you are munching a Beyonce-ish chic. See the kind of respect Jay Z always gets. So my advice to every guy out there is ‘go ahead and date and marry any girl you like regardless of her status. The trick is just to be a smart player. Because let’s face it, no matter how hot your woman is, you will get bored of her someday and sample new cunt

 Pretence aside, nearly all African men can’t tame the dog inside them that wants to bang Wanjiku this week and Adhiambo next week. Obviously I don’t think cheating on a girlfriend or wife is morally wrong if she doesn’t know about it. The benefit of cheating is that you get to fulfill your perverse needs and sampling different women while still having something stable with the woman that you care for. That’s a  win-win… in the books of any guy. Just don’t get caught. African women are okay with you cheating on them. Their ginas tingle uncontrollably for men who can – and do- score some poon on the side.  They just want you to respect them and give them their dues. Our grandmas were okay with our grand daddies having many women. Today’s women are okay with it too. They just don’t wanna put it like it is.

I’ve made an important observation. PICTURE THIS

When a normal guy cheats on a woman, NOTHING HE SAYS WILL MAKE HIM GET PARDONED.

When a strong alpha man cheats on a woman, most of the time ALL IS FORGIVEN.

I’ve observed it many times. And you have, too. When the nice guy slips up once and the girlfriend or wife finds out (because, naturally, handwringing nice guys can’t live without a guilty conscience), he gets dumped like an empty packet of Brookside milk in the trash can.  If the dude is lucky, he will be in the doghouse for months of celibate grindage and being run down over nothing every time. If he’s not so lucky, she uses his slip-up as a pretext to dump him so that she can shack up with the colleague she’s been cheating with for years

But what happens to a strong lion-heart man who cheats, even repeatedly? If he’s really on top of his game, his jilted girlfriend will cry her eyes out in an orgy of self-blame wondering why she doesn’t please him, then bake him a cake. If she’s made of stronger stuff, she might chastise him for ten minutes, weep bitterly for an hour into her pillows, then bang his brains out in a monumental after-fight sesh to prove her punani is better than the clandes.

SO WHICH MAN ALWAYS WINS? THE STRONG MAN

Women want the strong man who cheats but is still great lover. But the strong men are few. You can be one too with time. The first step to being a strong man is by learning how to cover your tracks while cheating. Even if you are a strong man, you really shouldn’t let yourself get caught every time and see your girl cry and ask why you aren’t respecting her yet she does everything for you.

If you are a cheater who wants to remain married or in a relationship, simply wiping off the lipstick from your collar isn’t going to cut it anymore. You need to add extra precautions.

Here’s what you should do to make sure you are not a sloppy player

1. Regulate meetings and communication with your side dishes the way Chase bank is regulating withdrawal for customers. Don’t be a dumb stronzo. Do not get into that pattern where you must talk to your concubines every day on the phone. To accomplish this you’ll have to state to each of your mistresses that you need your “space” early in the relationship. You don’t want it to get into that zone with them where you’re talking about what time you woke up and what you had for lunch.

Also, if you are going to cheat successfully, you need time not only to meet other girls but to take them out on dates. This means that you have to get into a pattern where you don’t spend the whole week with your main girl and you also don’t meet each of the other girls more than twice a week.

 

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2. Be ready to abandon the ‘clande’ in case you feel you are about to get busted:Here’s an important rule that guys forget. No matter how much time you’ve spent enjoying the warmth of your clande’s breasts, if your instincts tell you that you’re about to get pinched, abandon everything. Spending years rotting away because of an ugly divorce doesn’t justify the risk. When something gets out of control, when your stomach is sending you messages, cut the anchor loose and walk away.In this thing of ours, you develop a sixth sense when a deal is about to go bad. Don’t ignore it.

3. Don’t trust your main woman with your technological devices. Tech devices are the reason 90% of guys get caught cheating. Don’t lie to yourself that your woman isn’t the insecure type. She will always check your phone or comp when you leave it unattended. The female species plays dumb with gadgets and computers on purpose so that we leave our things lying around.

Either delete the text messages manually before you see your main woman or lock your screen. Fail to do either and you will get busted eventually. That’s guaranteed. Chics are savvy with cell phones and only need sixty seconds to sift through your messages or call history. You’ll never know she did until she starts unleashing her wrath on you

4. Be mindful of when you blow your load. If your main girl expects a gallon of cʊm on her face when you have lungula, and then this one time have a trickle because you just got done shagging another girl, warning signs are going to go off in her head. Therefore regulate your horniness and sperm quantity. If you know it takes two days to recharge after a lengthy séx episode, then allow that much time before shagging a mistréss and then your girl.

5. Choose your partner wisely. Typically YOU want to be in control of the arrangement and be upfront with the girl you are cheating on your woman with. Make it crystal clear to the person you are having an affair with, what the rules are. You should run the risk of playing the star role in your own soap opera. Choose someone whose relationship expectations are in line with yours. Avoid chicks who may not be emotionally stable or show signs of neediness.

Finding a woman that is in a similar situation as you is the ideal way to go. If you are married than it would be a great idea to slip off with a married lover for some fun. There is less complications involved if both parties have the same amount at stake. A married person that has an affair with someone who does not have the same ties is a recipe for disaster. Your lover if they are unattached has hours and hours to sit around and think about what you are doing, this may lead to some irrational behavior or it simply may lead your lover looking for more out of the discreet relationship than you are willing to give. Certainly it is preferential if your lover does not go gushing to her friends about the great time she had yesterday with you. Not really great in the discretion category. It is best if you cheat to get involved with someone that clearly understands how important discretion is to you because it is just as important to them.

6. Try to bang your side chicks away from your house. You don’t want her to leave something behind like a bobby pin, unique perfume scent, or hair. Also realize that a girl can tell the difference between a strand of her hair that is hers and one that is only 5% different. If you have to bang a side chick in your place then commit yourself to a CSI-like clean sweep afterwards. Do not get lazy at this step. View your room from many different angles, get on your knees, and go sniffing around everywhere. Flush used CDs down the toilet and put the wrappers deep in the kitchen trash can.

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7. Construct and rehearse your alibi. Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have intelligent, simple, quick answers to them. Have imaginary friends that you will say you were hanging out with too. If you create a friend called “Marto’ in your head, give him a fantasy job and a place of residence. Make sure you never change the story. It’s obvious that your girl will suspect you at one point or the other, thus you need to have convincing explanations to make her calm down,

Guys who get away with cheating have one thing in common: they’re visionaries, in that they see all the possible repercussions of their actions. You have no idea how important this is. The ability to predict the outcomes of different developments will help you deal with unexpected fuckups and come up with excuses, alibis, or evidence ahead of time.

8. Don’t let guilt change your routine. After a successful creep you’ll probably feel guilty for cheating on such a nice girl. You’ll then feel compelled to make a surprise phone call, be more affectionate or loving, or even buy her something small like a chocolate or rose.

Most dudes can’t hide it when they’ve cheated. They wear their guilt on their faces like a big zit. I said before to be paranoid, but don’t look it. Don’t give away your transgressions viayour body language, it’s a rookie’s mistake that will make your woman smell the proverbial rat

Resist this urge and proceed with your normal routine because girls can sense when you’re doing something out of the ordinary. She’ll know that you are trying to relieve your guilt, and while she may not automatically assume it’s from cheating, she’ll know you did something wrong.

Conclusion

Besides concrete evidence like a text message or getting caught in the act, your girl will never have 100% solid proof against you. By being an accomplished liar, avoiding sloppy moves, and covering holes that develop, it becomes very close to impossible for her to catch you. All this so you can have your cake and eat it too. I think it’s a good way for a man to live, but if you get caught don’t blame me.

About this writer:

Philip Etemesi