Willy Paul Finally Quits Gospel, Vows To Be Kenya’s Vybz Kartel

Ladies and gentlemen, the day has finally come. The day when Willy Paul Msafi has acknowledged that he is indeed Willy Paul Mchafu. That’s right. Kenya’s most controversial gospel artiste is done with singing about the Lord. He now wants to venture into secular music full time. Following weeks of deliberation during which Willy Paul (real name Wilson Radido) carefully considered what sort of music he wanted to pursue, the singer announced on Monday that he wants to be Kenya’s Vybz Kartel. Wait …….what?

If you are wondering what kind of weed the boy is smoking, you are not alone. We are wondering too. Is it Cannabis Sativa or Cannabis Indica?

To some though, this news hasn’t come as a surprise. The boy prides himself on pushing boundaries and challenging convention. His modus operandi is always to shock and whip up moral outrage. He is seen by many as a selfish, hot-headed arrogant douchebag who holds the unique distinction of being equally hated by his fellow gospel artistes and fans alike

“I thought about it for a long time,” said Willy while struggling to speak fluent English. He says he took into account both how his church would view him and how he would be treated by other Christians at large before deciding to switch genres.

“I weighed the pros and cons of Dancehall Music, and ultimately I decided that it was the right thing for me. Not many Kenyan artistes are doing it. People just listen to kina Konshens and Alkaline. I figured I would easily come in and conquer. Si mnajua venye mimi ni talented. Na kwanza the best way to move forward in life is always to think in ways that others are not. And to those who say only Jamaican artistes can do Reggae and Dancehall, you are wrong. Look at Lucky Dube. He was South African but he is still considered a legend”

The 23- year old singer, who admitted that he was fully aware of the negative consequences associated with choosing to go secular, claimed that he was now prepared to go through life struggling with rejection, intolerance, and unprovoked hostility. He is confident in that controversy isn’t something new to him. He has been criticized so many times before and he’s used to it

In addition, Willy confirmed that he opted for Dancehall despite very serious concerns about losing the guidance of the Lord and a lack of acceptance from some purists.

“Of course, I wasn’t certain of anything at first, but when I finally made up my mind to be go the Jamaican route, I was conscious of the fact that some humans would repeatedly tell me that I’m not normal. But ukweli ni gospel imejaa watu sana siku hizi. Pia nimechoka kufight na bro yangu Bahati about nani ndio mkali. Wacha abaki gospel na mimi niende Dancehall.”

Willy explained that each artiste has different reasons for the kind of music they pursue, explaining that Dancehall felt like a good fit for his personality and disposition.

Is he pulling another publicity stunt like when he said he was getting married? It’s hard to tell but let’s wait and see

Willy said that his decision to follow in the footsteps of Vybz Kartel, who is a convicted murderer but still the most popular artiste in Jamaica, was the product of a great deal of self-reflection. He insisted that he reached this decision completely on his own and was not influenced by the fact that some people thought he should go secular or any circumstances beyond his control.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ll even change my name at some point,” said Willy, explaining that he can, at any time, freely choose what name he calls himself and fans should accept it. “If I wake up one day and don’t want to be called Willy Paul anymore, then I can just switch to a name like Adi Willy di Emperor, easy as that.”

All I can say is parents, hide your daughters, brothers, hide your sisters, and ladies, hide your vaginas. A caged fisi has just been released and he’s about to wreck havoc.

Is this the end of Willy Paul’s stunning career? Does his decision mean that his dominance will come to an excruciating, despairingly poor ending? Or does this re-invention mean he will be the greatest Kenyan artiste of all time? Let’s wait and see. Let’s also wait and see how many people will believe that this article is entirely true and fail to realize that I have made it up all in my mind in an effort to conjure up another hit-grabbing satirical piece

 

NOTE: This a satire piece………Etemesi shall not be held responsible for any feelings caught by the reader or the character involved