CABU GAH DIARIES: Too much Willy Paul imitators. Lord, This Bongo Gospel thing is getting stale!

 

There is ONLY ONE Willy Paul. And he is NOT even the Best Willy Paul we have. Please STOP imitating him!!!

 

I am sick and tired of listening to third-grade Willy Paul clowns assaulting my radio waves and tv screens every Saturday and Sunday and whatever other day Gospel Music is so rampantly aired in this Country.

Admittedly, Willy Paul is AWESOME. Like, seriously awesome. His vocals are impeccable. His music composition skills are exemplary. And his Bongo Swag thing is scintillating. Especially to the ladies…Not grown ass men like Me though.

And the first time I heard the Sitolia Monster jam, which has over a Million Views on Youtube so far by the way,I was immediately captivated and enthralled by this teen kid who was swooning and slaying the jam so effortlessly. His arrival was announced. For good.

 

Sitolia became a MONSTER HIT. And by monster,I mean, MONSTER. Nothing has eclipsed the effect SITOLIA had on audiences. It was simply too dangerously big. And ubiquitous.

And after the successful launch of a Bongo Gospel Star amongst Us,EVERY OTHER GOSPEL Male Artiste now wanted to do this whiny, exasperating Bongo Gospel fad.

Even the likes of Mr. Seed who had all through been singing in that other pathetic Nigerian accent,Now has jumped onto doing a Bongo Gospel Jam. And Guardian Angel, an artiste known for his Jamaican Dancehall songs, also jumped onto this Bongo crap and did “Usikonde…”

 

I hope my boy Hopekid doesn’t jump onto the fad too…

Every new Male Gospel Artiste now wants to be Willy Paul. I am tired of them! Tired of their pathetic Bongo accents. And repetitive Bongo terminologies. Its absolutely disgusting. And lethargic.

Get a life,Kids! For real!

Lord,I am tired of these pretentious Bongo jargons…tired of this lame head-shakes that Willy Paul popularized…Tired of lame words like, “Msela Wangu…Mtima Wangu…Maurana..Or Maulana..Kitanzi…Sitoria…Blah Blah Blah…”

These words are over-used. And abused.

And to hear a typical Gospel Artiste from Ruiru or Mathioya trying to imitate the Bongo accent,which puts an ‘R’ in the place of an ‘L’,I simply want to puke! God,its soooo terribly disgusting!

Nothing sucks the life out of My otherwise calm Sunday Morning than switching on the TV to watch new Gospel teenage Boys outdoing each other on who can pronounce “Msera Wangu” the best. Or,in this case,the Worst.

STOP IT! Just STOP IT!

There can ONLY BE One Diamond Platinumz. And, No, You CAN NEVER BE HIM. Or like Him. Even if we rented You a room in Downtown Dar-Es-Salaam for an Year! You can NEVER DO IT like Diamond. So,STOP IT!

 

Willy Paul himself, the Father of Bongo Gospel is sooo consumed in his quest to be Diamond that he even changed his name to Willy Paul Msafi to sound a little similar to Diamond’s famous signature line,”Wasafi…”

And he has been accused left, right and centre of stealing his own Bongo jams from Bongo Artistes…Starting with Mr.Blue! Who the fuck steals a song from Mr. Blue??? Mr. Blue stopped being relevant in 2002!

Goodness! This Bongo obsession should STOP! ASAP!

I am tired of Your sad, pretentious grumbling jams. Tired of Your fake Machozi. And Your horribly exaggerated Bongo dialects. Willy Paul is already massacring the fad. Don’t make it worse!

Wacheni nyimbo za Machozi na Kulia na Vitanzi na Msera na Blah Blah Blah. Its already annoying. One more Bongo Song and I will jitia Kitanzi,Like FOR REAL.

We know You must stay relevant…We know You are in a stiff competition to be heard and seen and noticed and go big as a Gospel Artiste in this very cut-throat Gospel Million-Dollar Industry.

But, heck,there are more than a million ways to murder a rat! And this Bongo Gospel crap is just ONE OF THEM! Device other ways. And let Willy Paul handle this mess he brought onto us by himself.

And that “Tam Tam” jam….I don’t even know how THAT ended up being classified as a Gospel Song.

This country is already grappling with some real serious issues. Like the Referendum. And Migori Youths. The last thing we want is this Bongo Gospel nuisance. Please.

Spare Us. Get creative…Or Go home!