Don’t Blame Bahati…Blame Uhuru Kenyatta Himself…He’s Cheapening The Presidency.

It’s easy to rail at Bahati,an adolescent Gospel music whiner,and not see the real reason why he had the audacity to order The President off his official seat just so he could sit on it and serenade his wife,Margaret.

It looked like a cute thing to do – even groundbreaking – until the Internet became ungovernable and the Twitter masses,those jobless,sadistic know-it-alls,almost burnt down the town.

Caught up in the heat of the moment,the hottest Gospel act of the day decided to pull of some major coups (pun intended) just to arouse the masses and make a statement – a very silly statement.

After the huge kerfuffle that his act elicited,even getting the guys at The Star newspaper to analyze the whole fiasco complete with ‘security experts’,Bahati offered what appeared like a mea culpa.

He apologized… And then,didn’t apologize all at the same time.

The Internet was divided into two – one faction didn’t see anything wrong with what Bahati had done,after all,this wasn’t even a State function but a cheap,noisy gathering of sweaty party delegates and taka taka.

The other faction was irredeemably livid at Bahati for being such a brainless numbskull who would hive off the President from his seat and proceed to sit on it as if the President were his grandmother.

I belonged to the latter cast.

I have never met a stupider human being than this unschooled Bahati teenager.

Seeing him order the media-shy Mrs. Rachel Ruto around,even removing her hat and putting it back on backwards,made me sick to my testicles.

But would anyone have dared pull of such absolutely stupid stunts with the late Mama Lucy Kibaki?

Would a singer,any singer,local or international,Gospel or secular,ever dared grab off President Kibaki from his seat just so he could sit on it just to twist his sweaty butt for the cheering crowds ?

 

These alarming faux pas moments were unheard of in the Kibaki era. Or the Moi era. Or even the Museveni era. Lord,even the Mandela era back in his nation.

It’s one thing to make yourself ‘available’ to the electorate and another thing to totally cheapen the Presidency in a bid to appear on look approachable,cool,easy or whatever.

Uhuru Kenyatta should know by now that we’ve already agreed that he’s cool and easy and fun and chilled out and even our next-door-guy.

He should now probably chill… And stop pushing the PR too much.

The reason anyone is finding it easy to walk right up to the President and swat him off his chair is because the President has failed to create a boundary between Uhuru Kenyatta,the man and Uhuru Kenyatta the President.

Both are two VERY different people.

As a person,Uhuru Kenyatta is like your everyday dude; fun,chilled out,easygoing,genial,cheerful,good-humored,super sweet.

But those characteristics should not be dragged over into The Presidency.

We are NOT saying that Uhuru should become some sort of bloody tyrant who never wears a smile and who orders the execution of his errant Cabinet Members à la North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un.

We are simply saying that,to avoid such dangerous gaffes in future,to avoid such terribly terribly embarrassing situations in the days to come, Uhuru and his entire team MUST start creating a demarcation between Uhuru the next door jamaa and Uhuru,The Leader of the Nation.

I mean,You have the instruments of power,you’re the commander in chief if the armed forces,you’ve got the ceremonial nuclear codes,you’ve got the last say in the entire Country,you’re the symbol of the nation,you need to seriously start acting like it.

Obama is cool as f**k. Obama is easy as hell. Obama is like the best motherfu**er you’ll ever meet. He’s like the Bob Marley of the White House. Best dude ever.

But I’ve never seen – or heard – of any American singer whose had the temerity to walk right up to Obama to try and get him into a random,messy jig.

Obama may be cool on the basket ball court standing next to LeBron. Obama may chill with and even smoke a cigar with Jay and Beyonce. Obama may dance the Ne Ne with Silento at some party in Chicago.

But when it comes to national functions,when it comes to important Presidential matters,not even Stevie Wonder,not even Jennifer Hudson,two of Obama most favorite singers,can dare do the crap that Bahati did.

For Bahati to pull of the kind of stunt he did,he must have been encouraged by the cavalier way The Jubilee Government handles the Presidency.

Boundaries should be drawn. Uhuru’s handlers must start designing a more Presidential image for him.

We will still love him anyway. Just stop pushing it too much.

Being too cool hurts.

We don’t mind the occasional selfies he loves with school kids. We don’t mind him doing the fist-bump with Jaguar. We don’t mind him driving himself into a function. And we definitely don’t mind him attending an Octopizzo album launch.

But for the love of God,have some respect for your office and the immense weight it carries.

Before our Kenyan artists are invited to perform for The President,they should first be given a list of the do’s and don’ts. They should be given a complete guide on how to conduct themselves and also told that it would be inappropriate to cross some boundaries.

Dammit! Even Justin Bieber has rules when it comes to interacting with him at functions. And he’s a coke-snorting scumbag.

Never again should poor Mrs Rachel Ruto get as embarrassed as she was last weekend… By a boy poor enough to be her butler.

Never again should The President be left stranded,confused and idling around as someone foolishly occupies his vaunted seat.

Never again should the extremely shy Mama Margaret be put on the kind of shameful national blast that Bahati exposed her to…

I can’t stop cringing. Just can’t.