STATE HOUSE SECRETS : These Are The 5 Reasons Why President Uhuru Kenyatta Loves Wearing Those Silk Shirts When Meeting Poor People

The myth has finally been debunked – we’ve finally found out why our PR-loving President is such a sucker for flowery silk shirts,especially the red one that he has pretty much worn for every outdoor occasion since 1997.

Just like President Mandela with the trademark Madiba shirts,or President Kenneth Kaunda with his symbolic Kaunda suits,our own President Uhuru Kenyatta seems to have found his fashion and stuck with it – silk shirts.

You’ve probably seen him rock them in a gazillion functions,laughing his life away,mingling with the masses and generally being the good guy-next-door we all can’t stop obsessively fawning over.

And yesterday,hawk-eyed Twitter users made a very credible discovery – whenever The President wears these infamous shirts,he must be up to some mischief ; read,doing poor people stuff.

How incredibly spot on! Even these photos boost that theory.

Yes,it’s Official,this is the President’s preferred piece of clothing whenever he’s visiting poor people,mingling with the poor masses and just up to some lowly stuff down in the villages.

But why does the Big Man wear these silk shirts whenever he’s visiting the poor and the lowly??

5 Solid Reasons.

1. They Are Slippery
Just like a snail,these tu-silk shirts are slippery as hell. And you know just how much the poor crowds love grabbing at a famous person and reaching out to him and trying to pull him over to them. Uhuru Kenyatta obviously knows that it’s a risky thing to visit the slums and the villages and throw himself into the charged crowds,therefore,the silk shirts. Silk shirts are very slippery and that’s good because that will mean that you cannot successfully grab the President and pull him over to the crowd for a selfie or whatever. He needs to slip away from the hands and the crowds and the shoves. Thus,the silk shirts. Try pulling someone over by grabbing their silk shirt. Impossible. Perfect plan,Bwana Rais.

2. They Are Cheap
For as little as Ksh. 350,you can own a silk shirt too. In fact,everyone’s daddy has a silk shirt somewhere. Yes,even your brokest uncles have one at some corner of their wardrobe. You don’t want to visit poor crowds while rocking a $500 dollar Giorgio Armani shirt. Or a $800 dollar Karl Lagerfeld shirt. You need to look as poor as practically possible. Hence,a recycled silk shirt. Genius.

3. They Are Sweat-absorbent
Let’s face it,huge crowds of poor people sweat a lot. A lot. And just like a yawn,sweat is contagious. If you’re surrounded by like one thousand sweating souls,you’re gonna sweat too. These crowds are usually very charged and pushy and fussy and uncontrollable. And amid all the madness and the messiness,Uhuru Kenyatta obviously sweats a lot. Nothing absorbs sweat better than a good old silk shirt. Nothing. Not even these deodorants you see them advertising on TV before 9’o’clock news. Ready for a sweaty day? Throw on a silk shirt. That’ll do the trick.

4. They Stand Out.. From The Crowd
It’s hard to tell who is who from a crowd of people. Rich or poor. Normally,when Uhuru visits these poor neighborhoods and villages,he’s surrounded by so many curious faces and crazy supporters that it’s easy to miss his face. Thus,the silk shirt. These shirts stand out like the proverbial sore thumb. You can spot someone wearing a silk shirt from sixteen miles away. Of course the President wants his supporters to see him amid the mass of humanity. And he also wants his security to locate him as well. Nothing makes you stand out like a flowery silk shirt. Nothing.

5. They Are Dirt-absorbent
To be honest,visiting poor neighborhoods and downtown nyama choma joints and cabbage markets can be a dirty affair. You meet all sorts of people. Many of whom haven’t had a proper shower for the last one week. And then there’s the environment and the dust and the little,scrawny sweaty kids and what have you. You can get really dirty doing a trip around Muthurwa on a hot Tuesday afternoon. How do you absorb all the dirt and the dust? By wearing a dull-colored silk shirt. No one will notice your shirt is dirty. No one. You could be walking around with patches of dirt on your pretty little silk shirt and you will get away with anything. Try wearing a crisp,well-ironed white shirt and then take a crowded trip to the Mukuru-kwa-Reuben slums. Just try. Brother.

Kudos Bwana President! Long Live silk shirts!