A generation of four beautiful women. Lovely right?
Tag: Women
Ghafla Tuesday: Why be the other woman?
Being the other woman
All is fair in love and war they say, so why worry about being the other woman as long as you are happily in love?
Is there a rationalization to be or remain the other woman?
The tale “of the other woman” or the “side-chick” is one that will continue to remain in existence and which affects both the major and the minor. After all our basic needs as humans, the need to be loved comes next. We all want to love someone and expect reciprocation. So what happens when the person you love is committed to someone else?
Women worry more about their male partners because they are engulfed with fear of being cheated upon. As a woman, it’s either you are the main course or the appetizer.
Most times, the other woman doesn’t realize her status at the instance and some other times she is aware. At the point of realization you are left with two choices; to leave or to stay. The best choice at that point is to leave, with that, you abruptly end a long journey of emotional turmoil and unintended consequences. But unfortunately, sometimes our heart works better than our brain and we choose the stay path.
But a lot of women have reasons for choosing that path we must not forget. So you’ll have to identify your purpose.
For some women, they don’t mind being the other woman as long as it’s meeting their needs and makes them happy. And the others stay because they hope with all their hearts for a rise in status. At this point, a deep sense of love is involved.
Also being the other woman means two things;
- That a man finds you endearing and you are meant to create some sort of fun at the man’s past time
- That the man cherishes, wants and needs you but you came along at the wrong time.
So what happens if you find yourself in case 2 and you are choosing the stay path? It means that you are on a roller coaster.
In the society, the other woman is labeled as; slut, stupid, wicked, weak, devilish, home wrecker and all sorts. These comments don’t mean you are hated, but it only means they are all trying to find your rationalization for staying, which even if you explain, they might not understand.
If you’ve chosen to stay, know these;
- You are not stupid
- You don’t own the man, you are sharing.
- You won’t achieve anything by creating animosity between you and the main course. She isn’t the enemy.
- Once a cheat, always a cheat they say.
- He might love you.
- Your stooping low to secure him will never secure him
- It is going to be your best emotional turmoil story.
- If he is yours, you’ll have him.
At the end of the day, whether you got him or not, make sure you enjoyed the little moment. It might be the path of your happiness whatever the outcome. The experience usually happens once in a lifetime. No one will ever understand you and try not to explain too much because again you will be on the defensive.
Don’t forget; All is fair in love and war. You will win some and lose some.
ALSO, READ: Sex increases confidence” – Actress Dayo Amusa
Monalisa Chinda advises Women to Avoid Domestic Violence by not Provoking their Men
In an interview with Okey Bakassi on Channel TV’s The Other Side, Monalisa Chinda shared her thought on domestic violence.
The actress advised women to quit provoking their men into punches and slaps.
In her words, ”what I’m saying is that, much as I don’t like, most of us don’t like domestic violence, women should quit provoking their men into punches and slaps and all kinds of things… I always research when stories when fresh stories come up, I always dig in to see what and half the time, it’s always the women. You know, our mouth, God just gave us this very running Okra mouth, we talk a lot… women, don’t fight with people who are stronger than you”.
The Rivers State born actress has always voiced out to speak against domestic violence having suffered violence herself in the hands of her ex-husband whom she had said in the past treated her with disgust.
she said actresses don’t talk about their sexual harassment experiences over fear of stigmatization. “They keep quiet about it because of their careers. Apart from that, the society stigmatises these women. So you just swallow your pride. When you are outside the shores of Africa, women are heroes for coming out to speak about sexual abuse, but not here.” she added.
The actress noted that she does not like to talk about her experience concerning Domestic Violence.
The Other News, a satirical show hosted by comic-actor Okey Bakassi on Channels TV.