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Harmonize is the weakest simp in East Africa

January 24, 2022 at 09:54
Harmonize is the weakest simp in East Africa

My good God Harmonize is the weakest and most simpiest of East Africa’s entertainers. And this is no mean feat to achieve especially given just how many simps East Africa’s entertainment scene has on offer. Add to this the fact that he comes from a culture (Tanzanian) that heavily encourages simps -which ironically is why the make the best crooners and love RnB singers.

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But one would assume that they are intelligent enough to actually differentiate between real life and their art. But no, Tanzanian crooners seem especially susceptible to the idea that men should live a life dedicated to keeping their woman smiling. Instead, all their antics make them a joke worth a few giggles.\

Harmonize new weight reflecting on new photos

And Harmonize is the king of the simps. Why else would a man at the to of his game, a man who has achieved plenty of dizzying heights thanks to his craft would still sit down and do some extremely dumb stuff in the name of love. All the while, like every male feminist and nice guy trope, truly be a disgusting, creepy man.

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What do I mean? Well, whenever Harmonize gets into a relationship, he seems to look for newer and more bizarre ways to simp. When he was with Sarah Michelotti, he would carry her handbags around, evoking some unflattering comparisons to houseboys and the “spook at the door”.

Harmonize with new girlfriend and popular Kenyan DJ

Then he moved on to dating Kajala Masanja and he decided to tattoo her initials on his neck. Youre allowed to face palm yourself at this point. Everyone could see it was a dumb decision. But I am inclined to agree that since he was rumoured to be dating not just an older woman but a more financially established woman, he had to do something drastic to lock his place in her cheque book.

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All the while he was with Kajala, he was sending her daughter explicit photos and messages and went as far as to get her lover/ boyfriend, Rayvanny, arrested for “statutory rape” or as we Common Wealth nations call it, defilement. Never mind that she is an 18-year-old woman. And we are meant to ignore the fact that Harmonize too was trying to sleep with her… Needless to say, the case did not go far as according to the government of Tanzania, this was a relationship between two consenting adults (even though she was still in highschool).


Harmonize and his new bae Kajala have each tattooed the other’s initials on themselves

Then he was dating an Australian babe and while he was with her, he was crooning and singing about her and it’s almost like he is too dense to realise he was simply the flavour of the week. Now, the relationship has gone belly up and I am open to taking bets on whether or not it will take him long to find a new lady to simp for.

“Been waiting for this moment to tell everybody what you mean to me. I just wanna love you in this life and respect every woman. Promise to be there for you life time. Welcome to my world my queen”

How could he possible save himself? Well, for starters, he shouldn’t be calling random women “queens”. This only serves to inflate their egoes and entitlement. He also needs to make the women he dates earn his commitment. The reason why they do not take him seriously is because he goes all in 15 seconds after sleeping with them. And this brings us to the final point. He needs to stop acting from a scarcity mindset. He acts like every woman he has slept with is the only woman on earth.

Harmonize with ex wife and former mother in law

What Harmonize needs to understand is that him being an East African superstar makes him the prize and he needs to start acting like it. Instead, he acts like the ugly poor kid who doesn’t believe he has done the work to become an actual superstar. Simply put, he is living in a perpetual imposter syndrome.

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