Bien has terrible advice about marriage

Image: “To say I love you is not enough,” Chiki Kuruka’s open letter to renowned photographer who hooked her up with Bien

Bien Aime Barasa recently came out to correct you and I for misunderstanding his words about being in an open marriage. Perhaps that is because we are peons who cannot understand the Queens English or rather, it’s very Kenyan version.

You see, on some podcast that he went on some months back, in an attempt (abortive one at best) to virtue signal and seem like a progressive man, he came out to declare that he would allow his wife to sleep with her celebrity crush:

Bien on why he doesn’t wear his wedding ring

Me and Chiki have this thing where if I ever meet my celebrity crush somewhere and I am in a situation where my celebrity crush want to engage in coitus’ with me so be it and vice versa.

Bien explains why most men cheat

And when this statement drew ridicule (as it rightly should) and contempt, he changed his statement retoractively to declare us idiots who did not understand his words. Bien wasn’t saying that he and his wife are in any capacity of an open relationship, he was simply just saying… Uhm… Whatever the hell this means in context of the previous statement:

 I’m not in an open marriage. I have never said that I’m in an open marriage, it’s just that people concluded their own things. There is what you say and there is what people want to hear. I have never said I’m in an open marriage, but I have said that when in marriage you are not supposed to own your partner, you are supposed to experience your partner.

Bien and his vasectomy will be a disaster

Such a dumb hot take and then even more vapid retraction. Like, look my man, we get it, you’re a bleeding heart liberal on the bleeding edge of progress. However, if you do not own your partner’s body and her yours, then what even is the point of getting married? Riddle me that.


If Bien and his wife are truly committed to each other and want to experience each other without the confines of “ownership” then why get the government involved? Because if one or the other carries out a long time affair, they could actually be jailed for bigamy.

Why Bien is the most likely to have a Will Smith moment

So why invite the government into your relationship with you just want to enjoy your partner’s soul? Why not just carry on with your relationship and leave man and God out of it? It makes no sense to talk like a teenager who just found out about polyamory (with your wife’s celebrity crush) and soul ties and magic and chakras and still invite the yoke of judicial responsibility upon yourselves.

Or better yet, why can’t Bien just stop telling us about his marriage? Nameless and Wahu are by far the most wholesome celebrity couple but they do not overshare the intimate details about their lives. They do not feed their audience terrible advice.

Bien needs to stop preaching to his followers

Marriage is not all about being faithful to one another, it’s about walking the journey of life together. Being faithful is about 5 percent of a relationship and people who are married can understand me. Even when your partner cheats, that is not the first thing that will lead to a breakup. There are so many things that can happen that supersede jealous emotions.

Mara sijui open marriages, mara sijui faithfulness is not the main reason to get married… It all just sounds like a man who knew he couldn’t be faithful to his wife but doesn’t have the stones to tell her of his true nature so he is trying to convince her to accept the inevitable.

When marriage was built off political ties (one tribe marrying off their sons to another tribe for the sake of peace) or for consolidation of wealth (one tribe with a lot of cattle marrying their daughters off to the sons of a tribe with a lot of arable land), faithfulness didn’t matter. But something Bien and his ilk will often mention in their songs is that we live in a different age, one where people marry for love.

And given that these days, people marry for love, you being unfaithful to your spouse (not letting them know before hand of your polygamous intent or wandering eye) means you are cheating on that love. You are betraying the person. Unlike before when marriages were arranged for practical reasons, when one strayed they were pursuing love.

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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay