Here’s why Gloria Kyallo and Ken Warui’s relationship won’t last

Image: Gloria Kyallo

Let’s get the clock going and counting down on the end of the relationship Gloria Kyallo and Ken Warui claim to be in. And it will be a savage ending when it finally does come to an end. Make no mistake about it, I am not a prophet of doom nor do I take pleasure in seeing a man be emasculated but I am a sensible man.

Gloria Kyallo boyfriend is the first victim of Kyallo Kulture

And Betty Kyallo’s younger sister is going to follow in her footsteps and get involved in a lot of useless and pointless relationships as well as flings and situationships that will damage her pair-bonding capacity but that is in the not-so-distant future.

For the here and now, we can simply surmise that Gloria Kyallo and her bae aren’t equally yolked and he has already begun making mistakes that will eventually lead him down the path of humiliation and heartbreak.

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The first mistake he has made is to treat his girlfriend like a star. You can see it in the way they interact. She walks like she should be worshipped and he is more than happy to be her groupie. What Ken needs to do is treat her like every other human being he relates with -unless he’s a spineless simp to begin with.

Ms Gloria Kyallo

Then there is the fact that Gloria Kyallo has already started hinting that she has put a clock on their relationship. When she was recently interviewed, she said he makes her feel good -for now. And she kept repeating this fact like she was communicating it to someone dense and she wants them to get the message -right now.

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Why would you talk about it from that perspective? Why would you keep saying that you will continue to date mandem for along as he makes you feel good? That is not his job. It is up to you to make yourself feel good. He is not the court jester whose job it is to entertain you. And the fact that he has agreed to these terms is gutting me. Does he not have a father figure in his life to teach him this is not the way?

Gloria Kyallo

Then there is the fact that she actually said she’s still young. That for those of you who are initiated in the language of “character development” means that anything can happen and by that, she means that it will happen to you and not her and she will fall back on the excuse of her being young and wanting to lead a full life.

But once again, I cannot absolve Ken Warui of the blame entirely. He isn’t exactly focused on his mission which we can tell from the fact that he is willing to be Gloria Kyallo’s puppy. And look, I get it, we don’t know anything about them short of what we see from them on their show Kyallo Kulture and a few interview clips but those are enough for us to get a nuanced estimation of who he is and that is a simp.

Tick-tock, tick-tock. They will break up and she will be seen with a different man within minutes of dumping him. And he will change his ringtone to Bensoul’s hit, Nairobi.

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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay