Modern marriages are an institution that Kenyans cannot seem to get right. That explains why we have such high divorce rates despite the fact that it is a herculean task to actually get divorced in Kenya.
Before we even begin to understand why Kenya divorces are occurring at an alarming rate we should first appreciate just how difficult it is to get a divorce in Kenya for you to grasp the magnitude of the problem.
In Kenya, for one to get a divorce they must first have been separated for 3 years. That means that regardless of whether or not you feel your marriage was a mistake regardless of whether or not they’re extenuating circumstances such as cruelty (which is how Kenyans term abusive marriages), abandonment and infidelity, the legal system gives you 3 years to see whether or not you and your spouse can work out the differences.
And you have to have notified the government of the fact that you are separated. What is why couples from our parents Generations would simply Go their separate ways and continue living life without bothering to get a legally recognised divorce. In fact it is so crazy that a lot of our parents who were separated could actually be charged with bigamy if anyone cared to pursue that case.
Regardless of this fact, modern Kenyans seem to be willing to see through the divorce to the end. Why is this the case?
Well for starters, there is a fact that modern Kenyans are an adult response who are more than happy to cheat on their spouse to the extent that well over 30% of married Kenyan men are raising children that are not their own (and that is a very conservative estimate). So why would a man choose to remain married after finding out he was raising another man’s bastards?
The question of infidelity shines the spotlight on the fact that our moral fabric as a society is worn out. Everyone seems to be cheating these days and it has gotten so that most popular songs are about sharing either the man or the woman.
But by far the biggest reason why can modern Kenyan marriages are a scam is down to the fact that we are not raised to be husbands and wives anymore. There is no more mentorship or matters family which means the average man has no idea what is expected of him as a husband and a father. The modern Kenyan woman is endorphin hated with the idea that she doesn’t need a man to help her raise her children and as a result she has 7 different children by seven different men.
So what you have is a man and a woman who get married for one of two reasons the first being either that they have conceived a child together and the woman is unwilling to terminated the second being that they feel they’re running out of time to establish a family ergo settling down with the first clown that shows an interest in a long-term relationship.
Add to this already deadly concoction the fact that when things get thick – as they normally do in life- the married couple has no one to turn to for help who has been married for more than a decade.
When they see counselling in church they do so from a pastor who sleeps with his congregants and choir members. When they are seeking counseling from either the female pastor go to the most senior female congregant, they are being advised by a “Harrier auntie” who probably poisoned her husband so she could inherit all their marital property.
And that pretty much sums up the state of modern Kenyan marriages and also explains why I never contribute towards wedding fans because I would feel cheated why to have donated money for a couple’s wedding only for the marriage to have lasted one year.
January 30, 2023
January 30, 2023