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3 Mistakes Women Make When Men Cheat

Cheating comes in different forms, but the most grievous one is your partner having sexual affair(s) outside the relationship.

When your man cheats, it feels like your entire universe is crumbling around you. Most women dealing with a cheating husband or boyfriend start thinking of ways to fix the situation. We wonder what we’ve done to drive him to the arms of another woman. We struggle to think of ways to bring him back.

STOP!

Cheaters cheat. That’s it. Cheating is not about boredom or dissatisfaction. Cheating is the result of a psychological flaw that allows men or women to rationalize cheating and breaking vows. Affairs are not normal, healthy reactions to uncommon relationship struggles. Rather, they are unhealthy reactions to trials and tribulations that are common to most relationships from time to time.

Don’t torture or embarrass yourself making the same mistakes millions of women make when they know their man is cheating. Save your self-respect, dignity, and time by cutting your losses and freeing yourself for a better relationship with a more functional man.

Mistake #1 — The Investigation

When women suspect their man is cheating, the first mistake they make is launching a fact-finding mission. Spying, calling around, and interrogating their partners, women invest their energy in a senseless hunt to prove what is already obvious: the relationship is seriously broken.

You don’t need proof that your man is cheating to know that something isn’t working between the two of you. Whether he’s actually cheating or you’re just seriously paranoid, evidence isn’t required to know something has to change. Driving yourself mad trying to catch him in the act of cheating won’t deliver the peace of mind you are looking for. It will only make you look and feel crazy.

Mistake #2 — Blaming the Other Woman

Yeah, she’s got to be pure evil to steal another woman’s man, but that’s really not the point. She’s not the one who committed to you and promised to be true to you, and then cheated on you. More importantly, if it wasn’t her, it would be someone else.

People cheat because they are cheaters. When a man cheats it’s not because he was innocently seduced by another woman’s wicked charms. It’s not because she offered something you didn’t. It’s not because she’s better than you. Cheaters cheat. They don’t need temptation to have an affair.

Let go of your anger towards the other woman. It’s misguided. Focus instead on the fact that the partner you were in a relationship with violated his commitment to monogamy. If it wasn’t her, he’d have found someone else. Even if she leaves the picture, there are millions of women in the world for him to cheat with.

Mistake #3 — Changing to Keep Him

First of all, if your man is cheating, the last thing you want is to keep him around. Cheating is a pattern of behavior that won’t stop no matter how many promises he makes or how many changes you make to keep his attention. If he has cheated on you, it’s time to move on. Cheaters cheat . . . and cheat . . . and cheat.

Second, you didn’t drive him to cheat. If your man is cheating, it’s not a reflection of your worth, but an indication that he is incapable of handling the responsibility of maintaining a relationship. He is lacking mature adult coping skills. The problem is his, NOT YOURS.

Because you didn’t cause your man to cheat, you can’t stop it either. There is nothing you can change in yourself to make a cheater be loyal. Stop thinking that if you were thinner, prettier, wilder in bed, or more exciting he would be faithful. If your man is cheating, he’s not thinking about you one way or another.

Source: https://pairedlife.com/problems/Mistakes-Women-Make-When-Men-Cheat

Ten(10) Crucial Things One Must Do Before Turning 30

Life needs to be more than just work and that can include so many wonderful things. You should feel alive instead of feeling dead and tired already when you are under 30. It could be going on a bike trip to Ladakh with your friends or go trekking in the Himalayas, the choice is yours.

Here are a few options that you should definitely explore before hitting the big 30.

1. Invest time in education as it is a lifetime pursuit

You do not stop learning after you graduate. As a matter of fact, you face more sophisticated problems in life after you graduate. So you need to keep learning.

2. Invest in your body

Hire a proper, certified trainer who can teach you exercising techniques. Most people keep doing it wrong and finally abandon the process when they do not see the results. How can you get results when you are doing it wrong? Instead, get someone who can show you how it’s done.

3. Learn a new language

Learning a new language sharpens your mind. It makes you understand people much better and know how to relate with them.

4. Date widely & wisely

Love, at first sight, is a very rare phenomenon. Isn’t it? Finding the ‘right’ mate does not go well without making a few trials and errors.

5. Meditate

10 minutes of meditation a day is enough to keep you going for the day. Meditation cleanses your mind and helps you to enjoy the present. If you are a beginner and want to learn how to meditate, Headspace app is the right deal for you. It allows users to practice meditation and mindfulness through daily exercises.

6. Set up an automatic saving and investment account

Who does not wish to be financially independent? Make sure you start saving for life they say begins at thirty. Not forgetting retirement at 60, it’s just some few years away. Invest and do so wisely.

7. Do more things that scare you

Do things that are scary for you. Remember, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. If you fear to be on stage, then join a club to learn public speaking. If you are an introvert, go and network with people attending different events in your city.

8. Choose wisely with whom you spend your time

There is a scientific reason why extraordinary people stand apart from the crowd and prefer surrounding themselves with others who think like them and avoid the mediocre.

9. Read like a maniac

Read fiction, non fiction, just read anything you get your hands on. This way you will become an avid reader. Warren Buffett reads for 5 to 6 hours daily. Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg read like a maniac and you can see for yourself how successful they are.

Knowledge pays dividends that cannot be lost.

10. Take action

More than anything else on this list, is this point. Do not overthink and just do it. Yes, that is it. Just taking a concrete step is the most important part. All talk and no action is worth nothing in life, if you do not work hard and smart to achieve your goals.

Source: https://www.mensxp.com/work-life/work-and-life/44690-15-crucial-things-one-must-do-before-turning-30.html

Four (4) Different Kinds Of Kisses And What They Mean

To kiss means touch or caress with the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, or greeting. Kissing may be the best form of foreplay. They can be tender, passionate, angry, and can make or break a sexual connection. Every kiss has it’s meaning.

Take a look at four of them below;

1. The Kinky Kiss

Kinky kisses usually consist of biting and tongue pulling. What does it all mean? You want to turn it up a notch. These are great during hot hot lovemaking. Paddle not included.

 

2. The Angry Kiss

When we’re angry and upset at our partner, a kiss is the last thing we want or need. But, they try anyway. They are apologetic and come closer so they can plant a kiss on us. These kisses are just what they seem – a little angry with a dash of “I’m sorry.”

3. The Tap Kiss

A tap kiss is a quick way to show your affection without putting on a show. You can also plant one on your honey with firmness. Or a peck right before bed. This kiss means that there is a level of comfort within the relationship. A routine has been established. You don’t have to show your love by sticking your tongue down his throat every five seconds.

4. The Sad Kiss

Also known as the “goodbye kiss,” this kiss occurs when you part ways with your partner. Whether he/she is going overseas for work or going on vacation, this kiss is made to last.

Credit: https://www.babble.com

 

Ten(10)Things Women Want to Hear From Their Man

Women are mostly attracted to what they hear.

If there’s one thing that has always kept men wondering about women, it has to be figuring out what they love to hear? Most men would agree that when it comes to compliments and sweet nothings, women can never have enough of it. The more they get, the more they want!

Well, they sometimes end up saying women are difficult to please, but that is actually not the case.

Just as guys love it when their ladies prepare their favorite dish for them or does everything to please them, so do women expect to hear somethings from their men.

So, all that you need to do to impress her is – simply tell her all that she already knows. Yes! Strange but true – whether you are in a committed relationship or worried about she losing interest in you or are an amateur wanting to take your relationship to the next level- If they hear any of these things, they’ll without a doubt feel loved and valued. Remember, apart from showing love to women, they love to be appreciated and valued, even in the little possible way.

Below are seven things every woman wants to hear from her man;

1.Compliment

‘You look gorgeous!’, ‘ Hello Beautiful!’

Women like to know that their man finds them attractive.
If one could list down three things that women can’t live without – they would probably be – good food, a wardrobe to die for and hearty compliments. So, don’t be stingy when it comes to wooing her with a shower of compliments. The more you give, the more you are likely to get in return. Say all that she has been dying to hear – whether it is about her looks, her attire, her figure, professionalism at work or her culinary skills.

2. Ask to Help

Women want their men to want to help them. “Is there anything that I can do for you?” “Can I help you?” “How can I help make things easier on you?” – Those are questions every woman wants to hear. A man who asks to help his woman even in the kitchen is forever loved, even if the relationship comes to an end. The woman will always remember your gestures and help whiles cooking. Sometimes, it’s not necessarily about you helping, asking to do so alone is a relief.

3. Appreciative words

It’s nice to hear thank you or I appreciate you, every once in awhile. A lot of women juggle work and family life – which can be very stressful and exhausting. Women want to know that their hard work is appreciated and recognized.

4. You are My One and Only

While it may seem a bit cliche at times, women want to hear that they are their man’s one and only. It’s nice to believe that fairy tales do exist and that your woman makes your life complete.

Sharing, they say is caring but hey! no woman wants to share her man with another. Even, sometimes, women feel competed with their mothers-in law how much more with other women. Let your woman know how special she is to you.

5.“I love your smile”

It could be her smile, it could be her laugh, or it could be her eyes, but do tell a woman that you appreciate something else about her, more than just her boobs! There is a lot more to love about a woman, than just the usual stereotypical parts of their body. Let a lady know that she is loved for more than that, she deserves it.

6. Tell her you love her

This is one of the most important things girls like to hear. Stop beating around the bush and tell her straight. If you love her, then tell her that you love her. Don’t, whatever you do, leave it too late to let her know that one. It’s probably just what she wants to hear. And don’t assume that she’s already awre you love her so there’s no need for you to tell her.

7.What Do You Think?

Women like to know that their man values their opinion. It’s not necessary for them to agree with it but knowing that he wants to hear what she has to say means the world to her.

8. ‘You Are Great In Bed’


This is sure to make her feel like a sex goddess and sweep away all the inhibitions she had about her performance between the sheets. Praising her performance in bed and telling her that she is simply irresistible, is sure to set the momentum for a sizzling act later. The more you elevate and understand her sexuality, the more willing she will be to explore her wildest fantasies.

Don’t just be grateful for every little effort that she puts to turn you on – say it aloud!

9. Tell her how you feel

Don’t be afraid to tell her how you feel either, because that shows that you are being honest with her and that you trust her enough to open up to her. Tell her how much you love her, but also tell when you are scared. Sharing your innermost emotions with her can only bring you closer together.

10. Nothing at All!

Yes, men there are times when all your woman wants you to do is listen. Sometimes just knowing you’re listening to what is being said makes all the difference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are 10 Secret Signs Your Boyfriend’s Not Over His Ex

Do you have doubts as to whether your boyfriend is really over his ex? Are you dating a guy who seems to have a rather soft spot for his ex? This is usually difficult to detect since guys are good with hiding their emotions but relax because, no matter how much he tries to hide his emotions, there are still other factors you can use to detect whether he is still not over his ex.

If you’re troubled by the quicksand of sappy emotions your man has for his ex flame, you’re not alone. And it’s completely acceptable to hate him for it. Of course, really now, if he’s still in love with his ex, what the heck is he doing with you?

Well, if your guy tells you that he still thinks of his ex fondly, you could admire his honesty. Just give a smile and then you can kick him out to the curb. That’s if you can.

But what do you do when he actually says he’s over his ex, but you still don’t believe him.

It is true that getting over an ex is never easy and if you’ve been in a passionate relationship that had to end, you’d know how hard it is to get over a special someone.

But as much as it’s not easy to forget someone you once loved, there’s a thin line between forgetting someone and staying in love with them.

If your boyfriend still loves his ex, chances are, he still wants to get back with his ex. And that is definitely not something you should put up with.

You’re not a rebound girl nor are you his nanny to nurse his heart to good health so he can regain his broken heart pieces and pursue his ex again when he feels better. Hell NO!

Ghafla.com brings you 10 signs that can help you figure out if he’s over his ex or not;

1. His chats; Unless your boyfriend is a sneaky ex lover, he’ll definitely leave a few signs now and then on his computer or phone. If your boyfriend’s browser history shows that he’s been visiting his ex’s Facebook or twitter account or her blog often, he’s definitely not over his ex. So how much is too much? Checking up on an ex once a week is barely acceptable, but if he’s been frequenting his ex’s pages more often than that, you need to have that talk with him.

Wait a minute, this is a very arguable point as some would say it’s inappropriate for one to be sneaking on the chats of his or her partner. But hey, what’s wrong with reading your partners messages? If he’s giving you a spare key to his room, then why can’t he tell you his password? Why not?

2. He talks about her all the time; It doesn’t matter if he talks fondly or badly  about her all the time. S long as he still does talk about her, it means he still thinks about of her and still has feelings for her. If a guy has come to terms with his break up, he won’t keep whining about it. He’ll get over it.

Only a guy who’s constantly bothered by thoughts of his ex would like ranting about it to his present girlfriend. If your boyfriend constantly finds ways to bring his ex into the conversation without you initiating it, he’s definitely still missing her.

3. He gets annoyed when he hears that she’s dating someone new; For crying out loud! He’s dating you. He’s supposed to be happy with you and give a hoot about her. But if he gets to know that she’s dating someone new and turns into an uncontrollable whining boy, he’s obviously pissed off that she’s doing the deed with someone new. If he’s truly happy with you and has overpowered any strings of residual love, he shouldn’t be bothered if she dates someone else.Why should he even be?

4.He looks befuddled when he bumps into her. The next time you walk hand in hand with your boyfriend and bump into his ex, watch how he behaves. Keep a close watch there. Does he let go of your hand immediately, or does he get flustered or mumble like an awkward prepubescent child? If his heart races or he starts sweating around his ex, she’s definitely been running marathons in his mind behind your back.

5. He enjoys getting teased with his ex; Does your boyfriend stiffen a giggle or does he blush like a little girl when you pull his leg with his ex or when his friends tease him about a romantic incident involving his ex? Men don’t get shy. They get surly and angry when they’re being teased about a bad incident with an ex. Only lost and lovelorn lovers like fantasizing and talking about exes with a glazed look of happiness plastered over their faces. If your boyfriend loves hearing about his ex or getting teased with her, he obviously likes being associated with his ex even now.

6. He is her Man Friday; Basically, exes don’t have to stay friends, but they can still keep in touch with each other. But it becomes a problem if your boyfriend behaves like her slave and is always ready to help her out of a spot, he’s definitely trying to stay in her good books for a reason. Only a guy who’s still in love will constantly try to help an ex out with her life, be it by being the handyman or someone to chauffeur her around. Where does that place you then.?

7. He clings onto her memories; Do you find him clinging onto her memories when he thinks you’re not around? Lte’s play the hide and seek game here. Does he hold something of hers or broodingly stares at her Facebook page when he thinks you’ve left the room? Sure, he doesn’t know you’re hiding behind the door. Does he stare at an old text from her when you aren’t around? If you notice your boyfriend dreamily staring at his ex’s face on his computer or an old photograph while tenderly moving his fingers across her image, not once or twice, please walk out of his place and never walk back in again.

8. He still has her gifts or memories lying around the house;  Oh come on, a boyfriend who still holds a stuffed toy given by his ex while lying in bed is never good news for a new lover. If hes’s still got her gifts placed neatly around the house or still use the watch she gave him as if that’s the only one left in the world…then, wait a minute, is that her toothbrush near his sink? Yes, you’re allowed to stick it up his romantic ass! Trust me, even the police would understand.

9. He hasn’t ended the relationship yet; Hold on, he still hasn’t ended the relationship with the other lady but still went ahead to propose to you? This is a tricky place to be in. This is something you’ll come to experience if you steal a guy from his girlfriend. Was he still in a relationship when you wooed him away with your sexy and beautiful body? Trust me, Karma does exist. But then if he’s just been lying to you all the while that he is single when in fact he still hasn’t broken up with the other lady, then he surely deserves to be beaten up. He is surely a snake under grass and you must quickly show him the door the moment you get to find out.

10. He hasn’t deleted her texts or still has her pictures; Does your new boyfriend have loads of his ex’s lovey notes and dirty talking texts? Seriously, which guy in his right mind keeps his ex’s old texts stored in his phone? Are they gold or diamonds?. There may be a huge list of texts, but deleting it is the right thing and only thing to do if he’s actually over her and if he’s still got pictures of his ex on his computer or in his phone or perhaps, even lying around the house, then quite rude. But it’s acceptable as long as he understands to delete or move all those photos away as soon as you voice your insecurity.

Sometimes, all of us miss our exes or think of them. But there’s a thin line between a passing thought and an obsession. Keep an eye on these signs that he’s not over his ex and talk to him about it. It’ll clear the air and help you make up your mind.

 

 

 

 

10 Things Men Hate Hearing From Their ‘Women’

Sustaining a healthy relationship is quite a herculean task as there are many ups and downs which may run into serious issues sometimes. Men do things which females don’t like and women unintentionally say things which their partner would hate hearing. Even little arguments often lead to big fights because of this habit. Women are noted to be very emotional and this is no exception even in marriage. But one thing that should be noted is that in as much as women are very emotional, men as well have feelings and they do get hurt or are angered sometimes by some words.

So here are some things which men hate hearing  from their women. Let me be alone
Husbands hate hearing this kind of excuses. Sharing your feeling with him won’t do any harm.

1.”Let me be alone”

Men hate hearing this kind of excuses. Most of the time, women become reserved after quarrels and won’t open up to their husbands even when they’re asked to do so. Also, women become very snobbish especially during that time of the month but if your man is with you even during that time, then you should you that it’s because he cares about you. Sharing your feeling with him won’t do any harm.Remember that he wouldn’t be asking if he didn’t care so just relax, control your anger and pains and share what you’re feeling with him.

2. “Never Mind, I’ll do it myself”

Instead of telling him,“Never mind, I’ll just do it myself” when probably he didn’t hear you ask him for a favor the first time does put them off.
When you have asked him to do something, let him do it.  Men hate this habit when you make faces and say “never mind, I’ll do it myself”.

3. “We Need to talk.”

Telling your man this really puts him in a discomforting situation. He becomes less concentrated even at work and thinks only of whatever it is you want to talk to him about.
Be open and straight to the point about things. That’s how men prefer doing a conversation. Saying “we need to talk” leads to a stressful situation.

4. “You should have known.”

C’mon, men are also humans just like you. They are not supposed to know everything. There are things which, he may not know and it’s up to you the wife to tell him things you want him to know especially those concerning you. Remember, men don’t usually take note of this as women do. Their mindset is quite different from yours. So hey, it’s ok, if he doesn’t know something you expect him to know.

5. “You’re going out with the guys again?”
Remember his gesture when you first asked him this question? Some space in a relationship is important and hanging out with guys is not a big deal. Allow your husband to have some time for his friends as well. There are some ‘boys boys stuffs’ that he can discuss only with his friends. Give him a break because he also needs to have fun with his friends despite being married. Being over protective will only drive him away from you.

6. “Do you think she’s hot?”
He is very well aware of what you are trying to do. You asking him this obviously shows that you are walking on the jealousy path. Even if he thinks “she is hot”, he cares about you and loves you. So, don’t do this to him. You tend to put him in a very discomfort situation with that kind of question. You have to know that you may be ‘hot’ but there’s someone definitely ‘hotter’ than you just like someone may be more handsome than him yet you are still with him. What for? Of course, not only because of looks but there are other factors as well. That’s why he also chose you in the first place. No need to brood in jealousy.

7. “Why do you have to be friends with her if you don’t have feelings for her anymore?”

Well, many people have problems with their partners being friends with their pasts. But hey, why  can’t  they just be friends? Big deal?

8. “Pick up after yourself. I’m not your mother.”
He is very well aware of the fact that you are not her mother. Even if you are annoyed, say it in a better way, though. Otherwise, it’s surely going to affect your relationship.

9.“Man up.”
Really?, never forget that ego hurts. Saying this to your man is just a ‘no no’. Imagine how you will feel if your man should tell you you are not pretty. Hurts right?. Then it’s a mutual feeling then. Men are not known for showing weakness, but when he does, remember, he’s human too. He’s got feelings.

10. “Don’t you know what today is?”
NO, as always. Please just don’t ask him this. If he’s able to forget his own birthday, then there’s actually no big deal with him forgetting yours.